When it has Been a HARD Semester

 All of us have been there in college ministry and everybody in college ministry is tired at this point.  I visited with a College Minister friend recently and he shared how tired he was.  Some of it was just end of the semester, some of it was student drama.

What do you do when it has been a REALLY HARD semester?  I shared in my little book, Fixing a Broken College Ministry, how my first year at ASU was harder than my year in the war emotionally.  Students would come into my office to tell me they wished I wasn't there and a couple would even be disruptive in our weekly events.  I even ground my teeth in my sleep. You may not be any where close to that, but it has been hard and you are one hundred yards past tired.

So, here are some suggestions for when you are TIRED and when you are REALLY TIRED:

1.  If you are married, obviously, you have shared things as the semester has gone along.  BUT, as this semester ends, beware of dumping too much on your spouse.  Someone has said, "This is like throwing up on somebody; you feel way better, but it didn't do much for them.

2.  Connect to a ministry pal that knows you, loves you and that you can tell anything to and let them help you process.  They can see things from a more distant viewpoint and give you some feedback. It helps for you to get it off your chest.  Sometimes, we have been too close to it to see it all accurately.  Plus, just spewing it all out can help.  I have a graduate degree in Guidance Counseling.  One of the great things I learned is, just listening to people helps them process things.

3.  Do some things for YOU during this slower period.  Read, go to the movies, go to the gym or whatever helps you chill.  Go to lunch with some friends....just for going to lunch with some friends.

4.  Enlist some people to pray for you and the ministry in an on-going way.  You don't have to tell them everything, but just you need some folks praying.

5.  Put off some of your evaluation and planning until you have been able to detox and see things from a little better perspective.  I have always reminded myself of this little saying, "When things are going well, they are probably not going as well as I think and when things are going poorly, they probably are not going as poorly as I think."  I believe God is always doing more than we know..

6.  Remind yourself that is not the size of the crowd that determines the good and bad of the ministry.  I really, really like big crowds, so this was one I had to really, really remind myself about.

7.  A CRAZY TRUTH my wife told me in one of my down times.  "EVERY semester cannot be better than the one before....it just can't.  College ministry years come in waves and cycles.

8.  Do some project that you have been wanting to do and that you can complete.  It will give you a sense of satisfaction in doing it and in accomplishing it. Lots of our frustration comes from not seeing an end result in much of what we do.  It might be to paint a room (at home or work).  It might be to write a Bible study series.  Just make it some you WANT to do...not have to do.

If you are in the painful spot of feeling like the ministry you are leading is broken, here is that book, Amazon.com/dp/1521876665.  Reaching MORE College Students is at Amazon.com/dp/B0BMW8NPMN.

Facebook Live Posts

 Occasionally now I am doing a Facebook Live post instead of doing a Blog article.  I just posted one on developing student leaders.  

You can check it out on my Facebook page.  So far, I have done two.  The first was "Reaching More Students" and the second one today was "Developing Student Leaders".

I would love to have any suggestions for topics you would like for me to do.  It is my plan that each will be about 10 minutes.  

Many Blessings to you today!

Arliss

Should There be a Difference in Campus Based and Church Based College Ministry?

I spent 41 years doing campus based college ministry and 2 1/2 doing church based college ministry.  Out of both sides of that, I had the strong conviction that they should not look just alike.

One reason that churches often do what I would call a version of a campus based ministry is that the College Minister or volunteer leaders were active in a campus based ministry that blessed  them and so they do what they saw and experienced.  That is a pretty natural and likely happening.  One campus based College Minister told me that area churches hire his graduates and they then do all the same things that his ministry on campus is doing and students see all the same things instead of benefitting from both ministries.

So, what differences should there be in the two and how do we understand them better?  Church based college ministry have the great opportunity to expose students to and connect them to Christians of a wide range of ages, backgrounds, and vocations.

Campus based ministries should and most try to resist the temptation to become the students' church.  But, it can easily happen even when the ministry does not intend it.  So, campus based ministries should be pointing student toward local churches.  But, when students see the same thing at both places, why should they invest the time and energy in both?

Church based ministries must point students toward their church wide events....not just their student only events.  Why does that matter, if they are getting community and solid Bible teaching at student only events?    If we teach and show students that faith communities will always specialize in their needs and interests, we can be contributing to a "consumer only" view of faith and church.

Both campus based and church based offer opportunities to serve.  But, the church can offer a wider variety of opportunities..  These in turn help prepare students for service in churches for their entire life time.

It has been my experience that campus based ministries can be more specific and intentional in doing leadership training and it is one thing that churches should expect of their campus based partners.

Campus based ministries can and should be more specific in speaking to student topics and questions.  You will not hear many Sunday morning church services or even week night events centered around sex, getting ready for marriage, doing healthy relationships, accepting and giving forgiveness, how to witness to your roommate, etc.  Campus based ministries often do and should offer training in time management, setting goals, etc, etc.  They are not spiritual topics, but needed ones.

Most church college ministries are done by larger churches and cannot offer students the opportunity to lead the worship, play in the band (as a new experience), even to speak at the service, where a campus based ministry can, which is usually not as large.  I have sat through the first time college students played in a band together and led worship.....it was sometimes painful and I have then sat in church a few years later and seen and heard those same students lead worship in a large church.

The SECRET SAUCE OF CHURCH BASED COLLEGE MINISTRY is all the lay people of different ages who can bring students into their homes and show them Christian families doing every day life.  Christian teachers, lawyers, business people can give students a view into what the students are pointing their life toward with their majors and how to live it as a Christian.  Church ministries can and should lean into that.

Instead of competing or ignoring each other, campus based and church based college ministries should be communicating and talking about which can do what for students that is best for them and for God's kingdom in the days to come.

One question we must continually ask is, How is what we are doing now helping point college students to church involvement, leadership and service in the years to come? Neither ministry can just be about the present.  College ministries must be raising up the church leaders of the future....both lay leadership and ministerial.

Arliss Dickerson's book, Almost Everything About College Ministry, is available at  Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX and A College Student's Guide to Spiritual Maturity is at Amazon.com/dp/B0CXTCTNB1.

Teaching College Students About Character

I believe we have a crisis of character in our society.  There is it seems even more frequently stories about pastors (of big churches) being forced out, stepping away, or resigning over character issues.  In a recent survey of American voters, a large number said the character of a candidate did not matter to them, if they believed he or she would vote in accord with their priorities.

If you read any of my stuff, you know I am all about leadership development in college ministry.  And, I believe the most transformative thing we can do with students is meet with them regularly on a one to one basis.  Some College Ministers in their meetings with their student leaders have a list of topics they work through.  I don't do it that way.  I always say that we will meet for an hour and the first 30 minutes will be about you personally and the second half will be in regard to your leadership responsibility.  We talk about everything from grades to dates, parents, etc.  Some go very deep quickly and others stay pretty surface.  But, I do ask questions.

One day one of my best leaders said, "I'm writing a report right now on a book I haven't even read."  I said, "Do you think that is honest?"  She said something like, "I've never even thought about it."  I left it there and we went on to other topics.  The next time we met, she said, "I read the book."  It wasn't that she was intending to be dishonest or cheat, if you will.....it never occurred to her.  That is part of the change about character that is permeating our society.

If you speak regularly at your college large group event, should Character be one of your regular topics?  If Christians are not teaching and talking about character who will?  If you are planning your speaking topics for next semester, I hope Character will be one of your topics.  And, maybe it will come up as you meet with students individually.

"....we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character hope."  Romans 5:3

Arliss Dickerson's book, Almost Everything About College Ministry is available at Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX and A College Student's Guide to Spiritual Maturity is at Amazon.com/dp/B0CXTCTNB1.

 

How Long Should a Christian Speaker Speak?

 There has been a trend in recent years for Christian speakers to speak longer.....some do 45 minutes regularly.  Some are of the opinion that if you do not speak long, then you are not being deep.  I lean to shorter because I would rather be heard than considered deep.

Is there a PERFECT time length to speak?  Maybe not perfect, but here is what some "experts" know and say.

TED Talks are 18 minutes long.  Nobody gets more than 18 minutes.  TED Talk Curator Chris Anderson says, "18 minutes is short enough to hold people's attention, precise enough to be taken seriously, and long enough to say something that matters.”

Biologists say the brain starts to tune out after 10 minutes.  So, it is at the 9-10 minute mark that a gear has to shift or something done to bring the audience's attention back again.  One motivational speaker who makes BIG money speaking says when he sees the audience's attention shifting,  he will say something startling or he holds up one finger and says, "Let me tell you a joke."

I am convinced that stories catch people's attention and connect them more than any other thing a speaker can do or say.  People relate to stories about other people or about you as the speaker and funny stories or self deprecating stories are really well received and draw people into what is being said.  One of my first Christian speaker heroes was a man named Ed Seabough.  Ed always told a story or two with maximum impact.  He told me he did not just tell them off the top of his head, but that he would practice telling them out loud.

I learned from Ed.  I practice not only a story out loud, but I do my public presentations out loud in a room by myself at least twice before I speak.  And, unless it is a workshop setting with give and take discussion, I speak about 20 minutes.  I would always rather people say, "I wish he had gone longer than I thought that was never going to be over."

You can find Arliss' books at Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX or just search Arliss at Amazon books.

Just Some Quick Thoughts on Dealing with Criticism

I write occasionally on dealing with criticism because if you are in a leadership role, you will get some.  So, here are my Quick Notes on Criticism.

1.  If you are in a leadership role, you will get some criticism.  It just goes with the territory.  It is one of the free benefits!

2.  Consider the source.  That can determine how seriously to take it.

3.  LISTEN!  If criticism is not from a continually negative person, listen and evaluate.  You probably are not perfect. 

4.  Leaders sometimes have to make decisions based on less than perfect choices.  Just remember, when you did the best you could with the options available to you.

5.  Communication is key.  Often when people know why you did what you did and what your heart is about it, much of the criticism will disappear.

6.  Always try to treat people with the respect you would hope they would extend to you....even if they don't!

7.  Have someone to whom you can pour out your frustration from criticism.....other than dumping it on your spouse all the time.

8.  Sometimes criticism comes as a result of someone feeling jealously toward you and or your ministry.  Understand that may be their way of expressing their frustration with their own situation.

9. Remember, it is easy to hear the negative voices and give them more attention than they deserve.

When we are in a leadership role, we will be criticized.....some will be fair and some will be false or unfair.  Thank God every day for your calling and His use of you....even on the hard days.  It helps remembering why you are doing what you are doing.

A College Student's Guide to Spiritual Maturity is available at Amazon.com/dp/B0CXTCTNB1 and Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades is at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.

Which Style College Worship Event Do You Do and Why?

 Over simply put, there are two styles of college student worship events.  Which do you do?  Why do you do it that way?

1.  It is a Worship Service.

Of this type is held in a church setting and it is worship music and preaching with an emphasis on teaching scripture.  A few of these are verse by verse. Some college ministries today are using a team of students to speak at different times and helping them prepare and even helping them evaluate and learn when it is over.  I love the idea of teaching students how to do it.  Others focus on the College Minister speaking every week. Also, great emphasis is given to the quality of the music and may even include non-students who are excellent musicians and singers. These often utilize the College Minister as the speaker while some utilize area pastors and youth ministers.   In many ways, this style is a church service. 

2.  It is more casual and fun with teaching and worship led by a student band.

This style often features ice breakers, mixer games, and informal student testimonies.  The casual format can lend itself to more topical teaching.  The topics often come out of a student team that develops topics related to what they see as needs, questions, and concerns on campus.  The topics may be contemporary, but the teaching/speaking always has a biblical background or leads to a key biblical principle that is explained.  In the casual, fun format the music may not be of professional quality, but it is always student led and is used as a student teaching/training opportunity.

Which should YOU do?  

-Are there churches reaching out to the campus that do quality worship services for students?  Offering the same type thing may work contrary to their reaching students.  How can you be the best partner?

-Are your students very "churchy" or do they not have much church background?

-Is speaking one of your gifts?  Don't speak just because some think that's just how it is done.  Some of the strongest college ministries in the country are led by "non-speakers".

-If you are on a campus or at a church reaching out to a campus with multiple ministries aimed at students, what are they doing and should you offer a different alternative.  Beware of just copying the "It Ministry".  Find your niche is the advice one College Minister gave when it comes to being one of multiple ministries.

Every campus is different and the gifts of the College Minister vary.  Be YOU on the campus WHERE YOU ARE!

A College Student's Guide to Spiritual Maturity is at Amazon.com/dp/B0CXTCTNB1 and Reaching MORE College Students is available at Amazon.com/dp/B0BMW8NPMN.