Why Do High School Seniors "Graduate" From Church?

It is the season of high school Senior Sundays at churches.

 Anyone that has any familiarity with college or young adult ministry these days is concerned about the number of young adults walking away from church and faith connections.  Part of addressing an issue of concern is not how do we fix it after it happens, but how do we keep it from happening?  How do high school seniors go from being "church kids" to not connected?

First, let's say something that cannot be politely said on Senior Sunday.

  Many of those walking across the stage that day and having their cute baby pictures shown on the screen have not been involved in church for awhile.  I participated in one Senior Sunday a few years back where thirty seniors were introduced and applauded.  The Youth Minister told me about half of them had not been involved for the last year or two.  I have even been to Senior Sunday where a Youth Minister, who had been at the church for two or three years, said Senior Sunday was the first time he had ever seen or met some of them.  So, a bunch of these seniors have not suddenly and mysteriously disappeared.

An interesting fact is that many churches have a larger attendance of youth on Wednesday night rather than Sunday morning.

 Wednesday night is when there is the specific youth event tailored just for them.  Sure, there are some there who have come from smaller churches that do not have a youth ministry.  But, the overwhelming fact is many come to the youth events, but do not come to the church wide events. Their parents come on Sunday morning, but their sons and daughters do not. 

  Here is the bottom line:  students belong to the youth group...NOT to the church.

  So, when they graduate from the youth group, they have graduated from church in terms of their connections and experiences.

So, how does this happen?

For one thing, many parents okay it.  One sweet mom said to me that her son is just so busy with all the things he is involved in, that Sunday morning is his only time to sleep and catch up on rest.  Everything he is involved in is good and helpful to his development, prep for college and career, etc.  I tried to be kind in my response because parents have it tough these days. And, I said that.  I also said, "But he is missing some of the teaching and training that will inform his choices and decisions later." We need to do a better job of helping, understanding, and working with parents in these days.  Life is crazy hectic for many.  Maybe half of youth ministry these days needs to be helping and working with parents.  By the way, I think parents should talk about and expect spiritual involvement from their young person in college.  Many say they cannot do that.  Parents talk about grades, ask about classes, and encourage keeping scholarships.  What parents say and do not say communicates what they think is important.

Churches have known for years that we have a problem transitioning single young adults to overall church involvement.

 We are more geared to families and young couples with babies. An eighteen year old high school graduate does not suddenly fit in a "Singles Class".  Here is another fact that is  weird.  Many churches that have active college ministries that reach students from campus find that their own home grown college students will not attend the college ministry. Why? Partly, they suddenly feel like strangers in their own church.  Who are all these people I do not know?  Perhaps, we need to intentionally have some of our home grown students enlisted to help lead our college ministry as they take the next step.  Maybe Senior Sunday is part of their "commissioning".

Honestly, most Senior Sundays feel like a graduation event.  So, why would seniors not feel that it is over?  I like Senior Sundays.  I think we should do Senior Sundays.  But, we need to help them be a "Transition Event" not an ending.  Part of the service can be handing them off in a formal way to the next step. Before we can fix a problem, we have to acknowledge we have one.  When you are enjoying all the church Senior Sunday events, realize maybe, JUST MAYBE, that is the first time some of them have been around on Sunday in a while....or even a long while.

Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades is available at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9 and A 3 Part College Ministry Success Formula is at Amazon.com/dp/B0BZ6Q7HSV.