"10 Things Parents of a College Freshman Need to Know"

1.  College is usually harder than high school and your son or daughter may study as hard or harder, but not make the same grades as in high school.

2.  The friends and habits a student develops during the first three weeks often determine their whole college career.  Make sure they understand the importance of starting right with a clear set of priorities.  Students can shipwreck their college career and even their entire life during this brief time.

3.  Seven (7) out of ten (10) high school seniors active in church make No Spiritual Connections while in college.  If this is a priority in your family, discuss how to make it part of the first 3 weeks.  Many do not intentionally turn away from their faith; it just gets lost in the beginning with all the busyness.  If you encourage and expect good grades, why not encourage faith connections?

4.  Parents cannot see or receive their son or daughter's grades without a signed form that can be obtained from the Registrar's Office.  This is part of federal privacy laws. It does not matter that you are paying the bill.

5.  Students who live in dorms tend to make better grades according to national studies.  It is all about being connected to college life and feeling like a college student.  Students living away from campus can feel isolated and alone, especially in freshman year.

6.  National studies also show that students who are active in campus organizations are more likely to stay in school and graduate.  Again, it is about being connected and feeling connected.  Obviously, this is where ministries like the Baptist Collegiate Ministry are a huge plus.

7.  A recent study shows that students tend to marry someone they date!  Really!!

8.  You should know where your son or daughter lives at school and how to contact them there or how someone else could contact them (dorm and room number, apartment and number....not just cell phone.).

9.  The average is for a student to change their major 3 to 4 times.  That is why it is best to take required basics the first semester or two.  This allows time for adjustment and further determination of a major.

10. Psychologists say the two greatest times of change in a person's life are birth to age one and high school graduation to Christmas.  That is why it is so important to stay connected and involved during this time.  But, avoid making all their decisions for them.  Learning to make decisions and choices are part of the adulting process of college.

SOME SUGGESSTIONS: 

-Make sure the Baptist Collegiate Ministry, another ministry, or a college ministry church has your son or daughter's contact information prior to school starting.  Where they go at the start determines who they meet and make connections.

-If your son or daughter will be living at home, do not ask them to function on the home schedule of meals, etc.  Consider buying a meal ticket on campus or depositing to an account where this money can be used on campus for food.  This is not only convenient, but it helps them connect more to campus and "feel like" a college student.

-If joining a fraternity or sorority is something that might be an option, consider the possibility of delaying that until after the first semester.  This allows time to really know what a group is like and to adjust to class, etc.

-Make sure your student understands that if they plan to drop a class, it is important to officially drop it...not just stop going.  HOWEVER, if a student drops below twelve (12) hours most schools do NOT consider them full time and scholarships, etc become null and void. In some instances, they must move out of dorms or other school housing.  Also, a student's car insurance can become null and void if they are not a full time student.

Want MORE Help for your Freshman? Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith and Good Grades, is available at  Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9

The 5 Chimps Theory and College Ministry

The 5 Chimps Theory that I tweeted recently is, "You are emotionally, physically, financially, or otherwise the average of the five people you hang out with most.".  This comes from a new book, "Ten Habits of Successful People".

I think there are two really pertinent applications of this to College Ministry.

1.  College Ministers need to connect with other College Ministers who will help them grow and continue to develop in the best ways to reach their campus.  And, these five people do not all need to be people in your same locale and state who see and hear exactly the same things you do.  Some of our closest connections must be with people who share similar commitments, etc, but are seeing and experiencing some different things.  If you are a BSU/BCM Director, develop and cultivate friendships with a College Minister or two who serve in another state.  If you are a church College Minister, connect with a couple of College Ministry friends who are in another state or either another denomination.  Each of you will benefit from this cross sharing of ideas and approaches.  Hearing and doing the same old same old leads to......the same old, same old!

2.  College students....particularly freshmen....need to have strong Christian students in their lives who will help them become strong Christian students.  The best thing we can do in the life of incoming freshmen is to connect them in some way to upperclass students who are walking with the Lord.  It may be a Freshmen Bible Study led by an upperclassman or it may be one to one discipleship partners.  Non-Christian students can be impacted by upperclass students who take seriously the idea that they can literally be a life-changer in the life of an incoming freshmen.  What are you planning and doing to help put "5 Christian Chimps" into the life of a bunch of incoming freshmen in just a few weeks?  Doing the same old same old leads to the same old, same old!

Arliss Dickerson is a college ministry coach, blogger, and author.  His new book, "ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY," is now available at amazon.com.  Type in Arliss Dickerson or the title.

What SEASON Are You in as A College Minister....Really?

Easily, the thing I am asked to be speak about most at College Minister Workshops is, "The Seasons of a College Minister".  Often, when colleagues call to chat...especially in the summer....one of the topics is, "Am I the right age to do this?".

Let me share  5 strong convictions I have about College Ministers, the right age to do it, etc.

1.  College Ministry is NOT just for the young.  We need all ages of folks doing college ministry.  Some of the best I know are in their fifties and sixties...really.
2.  Some people quit about the time they know enough to do it well.
3.  There are pluses to every age....we must acknowledge those and utilize them to the max.
4.  There are weaknesses or minuses to every age....we must acknowledge them and enlist, train, and allow others to fill those spots.
5.  The perfect age for a College Minister is......the one you are NOW, if you are utilizing to the max the strengths of that stage or season.

Here is a quick Clif Notes version of my thoughts on The Seasons of a College Minister:

THE STARTER OR NEAR PEER (Some call them, "The Hang Out Ministers".)
A Strength:  Their ministry focuses around relationships, hanging out with students, etc.  They can move in a student world and are good at starting something from scratch.

A Weakness:  There is generally a lack of respect of faculty, administrators, pastors and church staff which limits their resources and effectiveness.

A Task:  Listen to experienced colleagues and be willing to learn.

THE ROLE MODEL OR COOL ADULT
The Campus Minister has a young family or is a real world functioning single that students see as a role model for life after college.

A Strength:  They have some life and ministry experience to operate out of....every day is not a new day or first time experience.

A Weakness:  It can be difficult to balance growing family and ministry.  It is easy to neglect or be unfair to one or the other. Or, as a single, they have no life apart from work and ministry.  There often is a struggle of identity:  Who am I; I am neither church staff, faculty, etc.

A Task:  Develop a clear philosophy of ministry based on your particular gifts/abilities and your unique campus setting.  Develop a life balance.

THE MENTOR OR THE RESPECTED VETERAN
This Campus Minister has built a strong ministry and is reaping the benefits of experience and trust.

A Strength:  Easier to find and draw on resources from alumni, peers, churches, etc due to the respect and proven track record.

A Weakness:  It is easy to lose your passion for the ministry and be a little beaten down.  Consequently, it is easy to just use your old notes and do exactly what you did on this date last year...the year before.....and the year before.

A Task:  Work at staying tuned to students.  Also, this is a time of intentionally encouraging and mentoring younger College Ministers.

THE STATESMAN/STATESWOMAN OR THE BUILDER
This is the time of sharing accumulated wisdom and experience and building for successors....leaving a legacy that will benefit those who come behind you.

A Strength:  This College Minister can fill a parental void in students lives and has a vast network on which to draw.  Long term relationships and respect pay off.

A Weakness:   It is easy to "preach" to students and experience possible bitterness in regard to denominational politics or lack of career alternatives and advancement.

A Task:  Be an ambassador for College Ministry....write, speak out, share your knowledge.  Strengthen the structure and finances of the ministry you lead to bless the ones who succeed you...whether soon or ten years from now.

A REMINDER;  Your students quit thinking you were cool LONG before you thought it happened!

A Personal Note:  FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, my Amazon eBook, was delayed but will be available very soon.  There will be an announcement coming.

5 Mistakes NOT to Make in College Ministry

One of the topics I was asked to speak on for the Tennessee Baptist College Ministers Workshop recently was, "5 Mistakes Not to Make".  Believe me I have made more than five, but here are the five I chose to speak about.  This is the Clif Notes version.

1.  Not Being a Thank You Person.
There are people that make your ministry better....write them a thank you note.  A handwritten note carries way more weight than a text, email, or other electronic message.  Express gratitude and do not ever take for granted what people do that blesses your ministry, you, or your family.

2.  Not Having a Healthy and Realistic Success Formula.
5 Things that go into a healthy and realistic one:
1.  What the people who pay you expect....like them or not!
2.  Tasks that give you personal satisfaction.
3.  Knowing what your personal gifts, abilities are and making sure they are utilized.  Using gifts gives satisfaction.  It's God's sign of what He made us to do.
4.  Your campus situations....none are identical....and some are tougher than others.
5.  Your resources....people and budget.  Your resources determine what you can and cannot do!

3.  Making Annual Sweeping Changes to your Ministry OR Not Tweaking Your Ministry Each Year.
1.  Some seem to start from scratch each year...new schedule...new everything which does not allow momentum to build and students, supporters have no idea what its all about.  Don't bomb your ministry each year.  When a new ministry comes to town and seems to suddenly do well there is the temptation to scrap everything and copy it.  Beware!
2.  No matter how ell things are going, there is probably something needs tweeking, changing, improving from last year.

4.  "Being Happy with Your 50"
This is NOT a call to continual unhappiness with your ministry.  It is a reminder to evaluate, get input from others and to ask some BIG questions.
Some Big Questions:
-What is the "lid" on our ministry and why is it there?
-What is one thing we need to stop, add, or change?
-What would it take to raise $10,000, $20,000 or whatever to do _________?
-What would it take to (you fill in the blank)____________?

5.  Succumbing to the 2 BIGGEST KILLERS OF COLLEGE MINISTERS.
1.  Comparison to other ministries.
You never know all that is going on there.  I have a friend whose ministry receives $50,000 checks from alums to do whatever he can dream up.  Unless you get checks like that, don't compare your ministry to ones like that.  Learn from others but beware of the "demon of comparison".  Long term faithfulness is usually more productive than flash in the pan ministries.
2.  Feeling Alone....No one cares about this ministry but me.
First, that is likely not true...if it is true, that is partly your fault...share the vision...tell your story.  Don't just hang out with college students; get some friends your age and do something besides work 24/7.  As people know you, they will love and support you and your ministry.

Side Note:  My new Amazon eBook, FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, was delayed but will be available shortly.