Some college ministry experts say that 90% of students going to college do not attend church. Others say it is not that bad....it is ONLY 70% who don't attend church. So, odds are that will include your son or daughter.
I have spoken at lots of Senior Sunday Graduation events or Senior Dinners. When I share those figures, the parents always sit there and smile at me. At first, I thought they were probably not listening. Then my wife explained it to me, "They all think their son or daughter is the one out of ten or three out of ten that is going.
Since then, I have realized a third possibility.....Parents don't care.
I don't mean to be harsh, but.....I have realized that many parents do not expect spiritual connections in college because they had none when they went to college.....and they came back to church. I believe in some way or other that message is communicated to their college bound sons and daughters. At the very least, they do not communicate any expectations of spiritual connections and involvement.
There are two problems with this. First, If they do come back, they bring the issues that developed while they were away from the Lord and spiritual influence. They make life choices and often pick a spouse during this "vacation from God". Second, right now studies indicate that those who go away in college are not coming back....at least not yet.
Here is a less than perfect suggestion. Parents should expect and communicate that they expect spiritual involvement in college. Do you communicate an expectation of good grades or of keeping a scholarship? Most likely you do or will. So, why not communicate spiritual expectations? Just like grades, you cannot mandate it, but you can express and encourage it. That means asking questions about grades, going to class, and attendance at a Baptist Collegiate Ministry and or a local church.
A message many high schoolers are getting is that graduation is also graduation from church. One person who has studied this has said, "Parents are not getting what they want from their student, but they are getting what they deserve." (from the book, First Year Out). What he means is, Don't expect anything from your student that you do not practice yourself. That does not insure their involvement, but it increases the odds!
If you have a son or daughter going off to college in a few weeks, you can make sure the Baptist Campus Minister (more than 700 BCM ministries nation wide) and/or a local church has their name and contact information. Many of these will be mailing, emailing, calling, or texting information about Welcome Week events and other connection opportunities. Their first friends and connections will help determine their college habits.
What a freshmen does their first 2-3 weeks of the fall goes a long way toward determining their habits and practices for their whole college career. You can increase the odds by what you say and do AND by letting someone know they are coming that will reach out to them. Now is the perfect time to do it.
One last suggestion: When you go for Move-In Weekend, plan for all of you together to attend a college ministry church on that Sunday. They are more likely to go back to somewhere they have already been and know how to get in, etc. Or, when you go for Parents Weekend this fall, make Sunday church part of the schedule.
Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen: 124 Tips for Fun, Faith& Good Grades, is available at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.
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