Understanding and Dealing with Criticism

If you are in any sort of public or leadership role, criticism goes with it.  It is one of the free extra benefits.  Often, the more successful you are, the more criticism you will receive.

First, AVOID the two Extremes!  One extreme is to take it all to heart and let it paralyze you or keep you from doing anything.  It can destroy your sense of calling, purpose and even personal value.  The other extreme is totally ignoring all of it.  There is a healthy and beneficial middle.

1.  Consider the source.  When someone who believes in you, loves you and works with you, gives what seems a negative word, their criticisms are likely NOT criticism, but healthy, helpful and beneficial feedback.  AND, there are some people that just need to be ignored....AND, their criticism may even really be a compliment. Don't confuse feedback with criticism.

2.  You need to HEAR it.  If it is from a reliable source or at least not from one you know is a Negative Nancy, then hear it.  You probably are not perfect, so there may be something there that needs to be learned.  Not all criticism is automatically unfair or wrong.  Valid criticism can be helpful when you get past the sting.  

3.  You need to NOT dwell on it.  Listen, evaluate and then decide where to go from there.  If it is valid, make some adjustments, if not, don't waste energy on it.

4.  Realize some criticism comes as a result of a lack of communication on our part.  Is everybody getting the information they need and do they know WHY certain actions are being taken?

5.  Some criticism is about lack of balance.  In college ministry, a College Minister has more jobs than he or she can get done.  There are more areas that are important and getting the right balance is tough.  Sometimes, the criticism is reminding us of a neglected area and the continuing struggle for balance.

Remember, criticism often communicates that people care.  When nobody cares, there is NO Criticism.  Is there some way they might be of benefit in this area, if there needs to be some adjustment?

BIG REMINDER:  Anonymous letters have little to no value!  Someone wrote my pastor and friend a nasty letter and put my name and return address on it.  Someone asked him how he knew it was not from me.  He said, "If Arliss has something to say, he will get in my face and say it. Second, I figure he knows how to spell his name correctly."  

Anonymous letters are meant to hurt NOT help!

Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9 and A College Ministry Success Formula is at amazon.com/dp/B0BZ6Q7HSV.