Anyone that has been in college ministry long has experienced the frustration of seeing students disappear from our ministry that we thought were there for the long term....some who had even been in leadership roles. Others are freshmen that we thought would be future leaders.
Freshmen Sometimes Disappear After the First Couple of Weeks.
There are three common reasons that freshmen often disappear.
1. Their Survival Needs were met. They came to make friends and not feel alone. After making some connections in the dorm or in classes, they don't feel the need to maintain the connection to the ministry. The
2. Reality Week Panic. Reality Week is that time about the third week when some pop tests begin to happen and they don't do well. They panic and decide to drop much of what they have been doing outside of class in order to better prep for classes. When they realize they can do more than one thing, they are embarrassed about coming back.
3. Some begin to work part time. Many freshmen who need to work often do not find that job or get started until the second or third week of school. Then, time really becomes a squeeze.
Why Do Upperclassmen Disappear?
1. Some feel that they have done all the ministry has to offer. When every year is much of the same and there are not levels of opportunity, some simply walk away.
2. A break-up of a dating couple or a friend group can cause ripples through several students. When a couple breaks up, one or both may stop being involved to avoid being around the other. And, there can even be fallout of friends taking sides in the break-up. Sometimes, there can be a spat between friends that will cause issues in the ministry. This can particularly be devastating to a smaller ministry.
3. A Moral Failure. A student may become involved in some behavior contrary to who they have been in the past. Their feelings of failure or guilt may drive them away from the ministry.
4. Internships, Hospital Rotations, Practicums and Student Teaching are realities for upperclassmen. This is just part of the education experience for many students. I believe it is important that we express understanding to them and keep our personal relationship to them warm and on-going.
5. Church and Campus Ministry Overload. One of the difficult things for campus based ministers is encouraging students in connecting to a church, but then seeing them drop the campus ministry. Part of this is the reality of time students have and part of it reflects the necessity of church and campus based College Ministers communicating and working together on schedules, opportunities, etc.
Try to Remember:
1. Don't take it personally when a student disappears....even one you have invested a great deal in personally. They may just be struggling to survive.
2. If they have benefitted from your ministry, then you have been a gift of the Lord in their life and that is what your original intent was.
3. It is possible they will circle back in the next semester or so and that is part of your keeping the relationship open and going.
One College Minister friend tells of a lady who became one of his best financial supporters who dropped out after her freshman year and never came back. She said later in life she realized all that he and the ministry had done for her.
We never know all the ways God will use our investment in students....even when they disappear from the ministry. Continue to believe and operate on the principle that God is always doing more than you realize!
Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.
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