If You Have a Freshman Starting College, They Probably Won't go to Church.....and What You Can do

 Approximately 7 out of 10 high school seniors who are active in church make NO spiritual connections in college.  And, that does not count those that disappeared from church when they got their driver's license.  So, odds are that includes your son or daughter....or will when school starts this fall.

I have spoken at lots of Senior Graduate Sunday Luncheons.  At those, I usually share this figure (the 7 out of 10) and the parents sit there and smile at me.  At first, I thought they were not listening.  Then my wife explained it to me.  "Dummy they ALL think their son or daughter is in the 3 out of 10."  Since then, I have realized a third possibility......Parents don't care!

I don't mean to be harsh.  But, I have realized that many parents do not expect spiritual connection in college because they had none when they were in college and they came back to church.  I believe in some way or other that message is communicated to their college bound sons and daughters......"We know you won't go to church or be in a campus ministry and that is ok."

There are two problems with this.  First, if they do come back, they bring the issues and decisions they made while they were away from the Lord and spiritual influence.  They make life choices and often pick a spouse during this "vacation from God".  Here is the worse news:  studies indicate today that many who go away during college are not coming back.....at least not right away.

Here is a less than perfect suggestion......parents should expect and communicate that they expect spiritual involvement in college .  Do you communicate an expectation of good grades or keeping a scholarship?  Most likely you do.  So, why not communicate spiritual expectations?  Just like good grades, you cannot mandate it, but you can express and encourage it. That means asking questions about grades, classes and involvement/attendance at church or campus Christian events.

A message many high schoolers are getting is that graduation is also graduation from church.  One person who has studied this has said, "Parents are not getting what they want from their student, but they are getting what they deserve."  What he means is, don't expect something from your student that you do not practice yourself.  Your involvement does not insure their involvement, but it increases the odds.

If you have a son or daughter going off to college in a few weeks, you can make sure the Baptist Campus Minister or a local church college ministry has their name and contact information PRIOR TO THE START OF SCHOOL  Many of these are calling, texting, emailing and mailing to incoming students even now about Welcome Week events and other connection opportunities.

Their first friends and connections will help determine their habits.

What a freshman does their first 2-3 weeks of the fall often determines their habits and practices for their college career.  You can increase the odds of their connecting well by what you do and say AND letting someone know they are coming.  Now is the perfect time to do it!

Want MORE help for your Freshman?  Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.