There have always been more girls involved in college ministry than guys. That reflects the same ratio that is true in church as a whole. But, is the ratio getting even more disproportionate these days? I have heard some College Ministers indicate that is true for them. A few elite schools are now even relaxing some of their entrance requirements to get more guys. So, what is going on?
Kathleen Parker, syndicated columnist, did an editorial this week entitled, "Why it's not surprising that young men are abandoning college". Parker basically says that over the last several years in an attempt to give girls fair and equal opportunities our efforts have developed "a growing intolerance toward boy behavior in general." She cites that twice as many boys are on ADHD medicine than girls (11.7% to 5.7%). Time Magazine in an article, "Men Are More Likely to be Single than Women", indicated that almost a third of single men live with a parent and that since 1990, women have graduated college in far higher numbers than men." One conclusion from the Time article is that men function at a higher level and tend to earn more when they are married. Yet, college educated women are less likely to marry a man with less education. The article goes on to say, "What seems to be clear is that the path to marriage increasingly runs through college."
I have felt for the last several years that more and more guys were willing to just participate rather than take responsibility and lead out. College women were looking for opportunities to lead and guys were looking for excuses not to lead or take responsibility. So, here is the deal, fewer guys are going to college and guys are more and more willing to take a back seat. A friend told me recently about going to his son's Father/Son Fraternity Weekend Tailgate Party. He said none of the guys, including his son, went into the stadium to the game. They just hung out and gradually drifted off. It was a mystery to the father. Guys just seem to be drifting more.
Some years ago the ministry that I led had a Guy's Ministry. There were some special discipleship events, but mostly our guys leading it tended to focus on "Painting up" for ballgames. I wrestled with that in that I thought that "Painting Up" was too much the central focus of our guy's "ministry". But, I do believe that we need to do some things that directly appeal to and connect to guys. A friend of mine used to do a guys retreat with lots of bacon and they used donuts for the bun on their hamburgers. They had tee shirts that had pictures of duct tape on them. You may flinch at that, but do we need more of that, both in reaching guys and use those opportunities to teach them to step up and not just trudge along? I also think we need to be helping both men and women have godly marriages that enhance their lives, the church, and society as a whole.
I think we need to be more intentional than ever in reaching and discipling guys. Hey, look for some guys that want to "Paint Up" for the next ballgame. Buy them some paint and start meeting with them weekly for discipleship. Hooray for all the young women who are stepping up and doing. I am not for pushing them back, but for helping guys fill their role as well. I think our society and our churches need both strong men and women who take responsibility to serve and to lead.
Arliss Dickerson's college ministry books are available at amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX.
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