The Parenting Role in College Ministry

 I have written and spoken frequently in the past about what I see as the different "seasons" for a College Minister.  They are:  

The Starter or Near Peer - This is about years 1-3 for a young College Minister.

The Role Model or Cool Adult- This is mid to late twenties to late thirties.

The Mentor or Respected Veteran -This is approximately forty to sixty.

The Builder - This is about sixty to retirement.

A friend who is a college ministry supervisor called the other day to share about one of his College Ministers who was puzzled about the response of a student.  The student was a super tatoo-ed rapper whose posts on social media are all vile and profanity laced.  He has started engaging with her personally and attending their events.  He has started calling her "Mam".  

WHAT HAPPENED,  she asked her supervisor.  My friend mentioned her recent fortieth birthday.  This student relates to her as a parent.  It may be his mom, whom he loves.  Or, he sees her as the mom he did not have that he longs to have.

She is now viewed in a "parent category".  One of my core beliefs is that there are advantages to EVERY AGE in college ministry.  As The Role Model transitions from Cool Adult to The Mentor or Respected Veteran, there is the "Parent Stage". It can go on for several years and be a very productive one. Younger College Ministers likely dread the thought of this stage coming.  Don't!  It is another stage where God can and will use you.  It has opened the door to witness and ministry to this student who had never been interested in anyone who represented the Christian faith. 

I have helped lots of students jump their dead battery, taken them or told them where they could get their car fixed, or helped change their flat tire. Everyone in college ministry has done those things, but they come more often when you reach "The Parent Stage".  Then, later comes "The Grandfather/Grandmother Stage".  It is another really good one with lots of opportunities. And, students will often take "good parent advice" from a College Minister that they would not even hear from a parent.

More and more students are needing good parents these days.  It may be God will use you in that role.  Don't run from it or dread it.

If you are interested in knowing more about the seasons, you can check out my article, "What is the Perfect Age to do College Ministry?" at the bottom of my Blog page.  There are strengths and weaknesses to every age.  The secret is recognizing and leaning into the strengths.

"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do this for the sake of the gospel..." I Corinthians 9:22b-23a

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com