The Parenting Role in College Ministry

 I have written and spoken frequently in the past about what I see as the different "seasons" for a College Minister.  They are:  

The Starter or Near Peer - This is about years 1-3 for a young College Minister.

The Role Model or Cool Adult- This is mid to late twenties to late thirties.

The Mentor or Respected Veteran -This is approximately forty to sixty.

The Builder - This is about sixty to retirement.

A friend who is a college ministry supervisor called the other day to share about one of his College Ministers who was puzzled about the response of a student.  The student was a super tatoo-ed rapper whose posts on social media are all vile and profanity laced.  He has started engaging with her personally and attending their events.  He has started calling her "Mam".  

WHAT HAPPENED,  she asked her supervisor.  My friend mentioned her recent fortieth birthday.  This student relates to her as a parent.  It may be his mom, whom he loves.  Or, he sees her as the mom he did not have that he longs to have.

She is now viewed in a "parent category".  One of my core beliefs is that there are advantages to EVERY AGE in college ministry.  As The Role Model transitions from Cool Adult to The Mentor or Respected Veteran, there is the "Parent Stage". It can go on for several years and be a very productive one. Younger College Ministers likely dread the thought of this stage coming.  Don't!  It is another stage where God can and will use you.  It has opened the door to witness and ministry to this student who had never been interested in anyone who represented the Christian faith. 

I have helped lots of students jump their dead battery, taken them or told them where they could get their car fixed, or helped change their flat tire. Everyone in college ministry has done those things, but they come more often when you reach "The Parent Stage".  Then, later comes "The Grandfather/Grandmother Stage".  It is another really good one with lots of opportunities. And, students will often take "good parent advice" from a College Minister that they would not even hear from a parent.

More and more students are needing good parents these days.  It may be God will use you in that role.  Don't run from it or dread it.

If you are interested in knowing more about the seasons, you can check out my article, "What is the Perfect Age to do College Ministry?" at the bottom of my Blog page.  There are strengths and weaknesses to every age.  The secret is recognizing and leaning into the strengths.

"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do this for the sake of the gospel..." I Corinthians 9:22b-23a

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com

Beware of Over Correction in Your College Ministry

Churches are well known for their "over correction" when its time to call a new pastor.  If the previous pastor was a leader type, likely the next pastor will be a strongly pastoral type.  If the previous pastor was seen to be weak in preaching, the next pastor often will be only a preacher type.  But, correction, adjustment and change are a necessary part of any organization or ministry to stay strong and vital.

As College Ministers, I think we are in a time of possible "over correction".  For those of us who have worked in the deep south through the years, we got many students into our ministries who had grown up in church, been to lots of Christian camps, etc and had a good basic knowledge of scripture and what their faith was all about.  Our job was to take them to the next level in living it out and dealing with the issues.

As more and more students come to campus as non-believers or Christians with little solid foundation in their faith....even those who have been very active in church.  It has become more necessary to continually be speaking to basic biblical truths.  But, that is also where my fear of "over correction" comes.  For those of us who do campus based ministry and are a ministry of multiple churches or of our denomination, we work hard at not being a church.

One possible "over correction" happens when our large group events look and feel more like church.  Why should students get up early on Sunday morning after a long Saturday night to go to church, when they went to a really great contemporary worship service this past week at 9:00 p.m.?  Besides, there they will just have to sit with "a bunch of old white people" as one freshman described his church experience. 

The second part of this possible "over correction" is that in teaching basics of the Bible, we stop speaking to specifically college student topics, And, if we don't speak to them, who will?  Sunday morning Big Church is not going to talk about dating, getting ready for marriage, and how to deal with a broken family relationship, dealing with divorcing parents, etc.  And, I have never heard a Sunday morning, Sunday night, or Wednesday night Big Church sermon on sex!  I spoke on marriage once at a large church Sunday morning service and was told by some that it was inappropriate because not everyone there was married.

I personally do not like the description of College Ministers as "Campus Pastor", etc.  I think it too much bends us to acting like church pastors. They are two very different type roles.  I am all about church pastors.  I just believe it does not communicate well our role on campus.  If I were asked to describe myself, I would prefer the term, "teacher".  Maybe that is because, through the years I have been told I don't act or sound like a preacher.  My pagan car salesman friend tells me I don't act or sound like a preacher.  He means it as a compliment.  Let's not lose sight of our unique role and opportunities.

Here is the simple point and concern in "over correcting".  As you teach the more and more necessity of biblical basics, don't forget to be teaching about godly sexuality, dealing with your divorcing parents. figuring out God's will and making godly decisions in life.  And, some of those need to be talked about EVERY YEAR....just like teachers teach some things EVERY YEAR.

Correct, adjust every year as is necessary to be what you and your ministry need to be.  Just beware of going from one extreme to another.  Beware of "over correction".

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.

The Killer of College Ministers THIS Year

 I have written and spoken in the past about "The Two Biggest Killers of College Ministers". I have said those are feeling alone and comparison.  As I have thought about and visited with College Ministers around the country this school year, I realized we may be seeing one of those on steroids this year.

It is COMPARISON.

The Covid health crisis is being dealt with in different ways in different states and on different campuses.  I communicated this past week with a College Minister who is not allowed to have any gathering larger than ten (10) on his campus. So, his ministry is doing nothing but small groups. I have other friends who are operating almost normally and they are posting pictures of their Winter Break trips to other states and large worship gatherings.  Other College Ministers have been told they cannot go out of state.

As easy as it is to compare during normal times, it can be crazy frustrating this year.  Some campus based ministries are operating under strict campus guidelines and compare theirs to a church based ministry just a few blocks away that is operating under a whole different set of guidelines. So, what do we do?  Keep your head down and keep being faithful!

1.  No one knows all that is going on with another ministry.  And, if they are breaking rules and not being wise, that is not up to you to determine or be responsible to.

2.  I will almost always come out on the side of being a truthful and faithful partner with campus rules and regulations.  Even as strange as this year is, it is not worth burning all bridges with the campus administration.  That can bite you for the rest of your ministry there.

3.  Treat this year as a "one off".  Do what can be best done this year and take it as it is.  Yes, if next year is normal, there will still be some "hangover" from this year.  But, college student life and what is true adjusts real fast. 

4.  Be all about whatever is working best this year....whether you will ever do it again or not.  If you are a speaker and cannot speak to big crowds this year, just put that on hold.  Do what is do-able.

5.  Think like a parent.  What would you want someone to be doing with your 18-22 year old son or daughter?  Do that to the best of your ability.

6.  Ask the Lord to help you be grateful that someone else is not having to operate under the same tough guidelines you are!  And, pray for someone you know who is having to operate under tougher guidelines than you are.

7.  Never forget that long haul faithfulness beats short term flashes.

More than ever this year COMPARISON is of the devil and is defeating to you personally and to the ministry as a whole.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:17

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.

5 Reasons to Go to the Collegiate Summit and a BETTER ONE!

The Collegiate Ministers Summit is a once every three year event held in Nashville for College Ministers from all over the country.  This year it will be May 5-7 (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday) at First Baptist Church, Hendersonville. 

5 GOOD REASONS TO GO:

Robby Gallaty, Long Hollow pastor and discipleship guru will speak.

James Emery White, pastor and author of "Christianity for People Who Aren't Christians"

Dhati Lewis, pastor of Blueprint Church in Atlanta.

Twila Newbill, author of "A Great Cloud of Witnesses"

Trevin Wax, Christianity Today named him one of 33 Millenials  shaping the next generation of evangelicals.

A BETTER REASON TO GO:

500 to 600 College Ministers roaming around talking, sharing, learning from one another, encouraging each other, and leading great Breakouts.  What is better than three days with folks who actually GET what you do...been there, done it, and got all the tee shirts!

It is put on by Baptists and most there are Baptists, but not everybody....and most Baptists don't bite.  It is open to anyone who thinks the college campus is where it is happening.

REGISTRATION INFO:

Registration which covers all the session, breaks and multiple meals is $175....BUT.....the early registration rate is $140 until February 15th.  AND, your spouse can go with you for $80 that covers registration, breaks, and meals.  Lots of spouses go.  AND, if the event is cancelled, Lifeway will issue a full refund!

Go to collegiatesummit.com to see the schedule, more on program personalities or to sign up, etc.  See YOU at the break.  I am always standing by the cookie and Diet Coke table!

Arliss Dickerson's book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.

College Ministers: Look Busy!

A long time ago when I was in the Army and particularly during training, there was a saying, "Look Busy". The thought behind it was, if you did not look like you were doing something, your Drill Sergeant would find something extra for you to do.  And, most of the time it would not be pleasant.  So, we looked busy.

I was reminded of this "Trainee Advice" recently when someone again said that maybe we need to give College Ministers some extra work.  

Everybody has a "Crazy Aunt" in their family.  One time I tried to explain to our Crazy Aunt what a College Minister did.  I went into great detail about meeting with students, planning events, speaking, etc.  At the end of my well done explanation, she said, "So, you just talk to students."  AHHHH!!!

Everyone that says, "Pastors only work on Sunday." are not joking.  Some are really serious; they just do not know.  And, I think it is even tougher for church people unconnected to college campuses to get all that College Ministers do and the EXTRA work, time and stress they are putting in these days still re-building following the tough days of Covid  

My Advice:  LOOK BUSY!  Ok, this is not Army advice.  This is demonstrate what you are doing. Here are some suggestions.

-Post a selfie on social media of you getting ready to meet with a student. And remember older people look at Facebook whether you do or not.

-Post a picture of an event.  Show students worshipping.  Share a picture of a Bible study group  List some prayer requests  

-When you send out a report, printed or on line, make sure there are one or two pictures that show something of what is happening.  Remember, a picture answers questions people did not even think to ask. But, also remember too many pictures all side beside become a blur.  By the way, remember that older people have a hard time reading or seeing things printed on red or dark green paper.

-ALWAYS keep your supervisor in the loop about what you are doing or your focus this month.  They likely do not doubt your hard work but their being able to give specific examples to their boss or to your supporters to whom they speak is a big help.  Make sure they have plenty of ammunition.

Also remember the “Most Common Complaints About College Ministers" I talked about in my book, Almost Everything About College Ministry:

"They do not dress professionally."

"They do not encourage church attendance."

"College Ministers are too liberal."

ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION:  Is there anything I am doing or not doing that gives the impression that I am not working as I should?

#reachingmore

Could your ministry be reaching more students? Check out Reaching More College Students:  Next Level College Ministry at amazon.com/dp/B0BMW8NPMN.

 

Let's Get Together!

 Corey Olivier, the leader of the BCM Ministry in New Orleans, sent me a message this week.  He told me that his staff would be reading my book, "Almost Everything About College Ministry," together this semester and discussing it some each week.  He asked if when they finish, we could do a Zoom with everybody and discuss it.  I loved that idea!  We will set up a date to do it.

I am grateful that many have used it as part of their staff reading and discussions. If you are doing this with one or more staffers and want to set up a Zoom conference to talk about it, I will be glad to do that.  Just send me a message and let's work out a time.  Obviously, I cannot meet with you every week.  But, I would love to get with you for an hour or two at some point.

You can send me an email (arlissdickerson@gmail.com), facebook me or send me a text.  I won't list my cell here, but lots of folks have it out there, if you don't.  So, let's get together!

Arliss

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.

5 Books I Recommend for College Ministers

 If you are like me, the time between semesters has always been a time of trying to put some new thoughts, ideas, and helps for students inside me.  Here are five I recommend.  They are not new...but maybe too early to call classics.

IS GOD CALLING ME by Dr. Jeff Iorg

This little 115 page book is one you need to have two or three copies of ready to give to students who are asking questions about whether they are being called to ministry.  It is super good and practical.  It IS a classic.  Dr. Iorg is the president of Gateway Seminary, if you are not familiar with him.  I would suggest you read it also, just to help you in these conversations with students.

THE 17 INDISPUTABLE LAWS OF TEAMWORK by John Maxwell

When we build up and multiply leaders, we build up and multiply our ministry.  Plus, we are developing leaders for the future church....and we need that.  Maxwell gives very practical helps in working with your leadership team.  I have also used some of this material in working with our Freshmen Leadership Team and preparing them for future roles.  There are chapters like, "The Law of the Bad Apple" and "The Law of the Price Tag".  It is a good "just read one chapter a day" book.

AFTER COLLEGE by Erica Reitz

Seniors are leaning out the door hard this semester.  You can give it to them as a gift and or lead a weekly study group using it.  Or, host a one time event for seniors with a meal and a two or three hour  focus on what is next for them.  Likely, this crazy year has seniors even more searching for help.

7 PRACTICES OF EFFECTIVE MINISTRY by Andy Stanley

I have been recommending this book since it came out a few years ago.  It really helped me focus on the idea of leading with MY strengths and the strengths of OUR MINISTRY.  I did not totally agree with his application of that truth.  It is also a quick read.

ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY by Arliss Dickerson

Oops!  How did that get in there? When I called this "a brief encyclopedia like" book for college ministers, my intent was that every chapter does not apply to every College Minister.  Some chapters are for newbies and some are for old vets.  Some are aimed at Church College Ministers.  The point being, you can simply pick out the chapters that relate to your situation or main concern at the moment.  It is not like a book report where you have to give your word that you read the WHOLE  book. But, it is ok to read the whole book, as many told me they have.  Some have told me they use a chapter in their staff meetings, particularly with young intern types, as a brief discussion starter.

Arliss Dickerson's new book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com