Dealing with Criticism in College Ministry

When I am totally honest with myself, I have to admit that deep down I have quite a bit of "people pleaser" in me.  Most of us have some degree of it.  So, when criticism comes, it can be painful and difficult to know how to properly deal with it.  So, here are my thoughts on causes and possible ways to face and deal with it.

1.  Listen to see if there is any validity to it.  

I once heard a nationally known Christian leader say when criticism came his way he just ignored it because he knew he was doing God's work.  The problem with that is the assumption that we are ALWAYS right.  None of us make the right call every time.

2.  Consider the source.

Some people are just critical and will always be critical or they have an axe to grind.  We usually know who those folks are.  Sometimes, we should even rejoice in their criticism.  We cannot let the criticism of the "Always Critical" be a factor in who we are or what we do.

3.  Remember, imperfect choices lead to criticism.

Sometimes the choices we have in a decision are not best for everybody and we must make the one that is the best of poor choices.  We will get some criticism and just remind ourselves we did the best we could with a less than perfect situation.  That is one of the prices of being in a leadership role.

4.  Communication is a key.

In this day of multiple ministries on many campuses by churches and campus based ministries, there will be bumping into each other which leads to criticism.  While there is never a perfect answer to this, communication with all entities goes a long way.  When people know what we are doing, why we are doing it and what our heart is about it, much of the criticism will disappear.

5.  Be Kingdom minded!

As egotistical as I am, it is easy for me to think that God works best through me and what I am trying to do.  However, in my heart...and my SOUL....I know that God is using lots of other people as well.....and maybe SOMETIMES better.  Teach yourself to, if not rejoice in good things happening with others, at least RESPECT it.  RESPECT erases lots of criticism.  When we treat others with respect, they are more likely to treat us with respect.

6.  Pour out your frustration.

I am a huge believer in having someone you can speak to with total honesty....besides your spouse.  It may be a College Minister in another location who is only a call away.  Have someone that loves you, will listen to you and SPEAK BACK to you when necessary.  This helps you not be critical AND to know what criticism needs to be ignored or heard.  Don't wait till you are ready to explode to have these conversations. But, don't do all of this with your spouse, which puts a huge burden on them and they sometimes then suffer more than you do.

7.  Jealousy can run both ways.

Sometimes we are criticized because someone is jealous of what our ministry is accomplishing.  AND, sometimes we criticize because we are jealous.  Realizing both sides of that helps us deal with it.  

8.  Consider speaking to your critic about it when it has to come to you by another source.

If there is something you need to learn, this will allow that to happen.  If the critic is being unfair, this may silence the criticism.  UNJUST CRITICS prefer to function in the dark.  Even if the criticism cannot be resolved, often when a critic feels their concern has been heard, this will soften or eliminate the criticism.

9.  Don't focus on criticism!!

It is easy for us to hear the negative voices and focus on them.  Teach yourself to not let that be your focus and remember, WE WILL BE CRITICIZED WHEN WE DO GOD'S WORK......SOME WILL BE JUST AND SOME WILL BE FALSE AND UNFAIR.

Arliss Dickerson's book, Almost Everything About College Ministry, is available at Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX and A 3 Part College Ministry Success Formula is at Amazon.com/dp/B0BZ6Q7HSV.