If You Have a Son or Daughter Going to College this Fall, They Probably Won't Go to Church!

 Some college ministry experts say that 90% of students who are active in church in high school will not make any spiritual connections in college.  Others say it's not that bad......it is ONLY 70% who drop church and other spiritual connections.  So, odds are that will include your son or daughter.

I have spoken at lots of Senior Sunday Graduation events or Senior/Parent Dinners.  When I share those figures, the parents always sit there and smile at me.  At first, I thought they were not listening.  But, my wife explained it to me. "They all thin their son or daughter is the one out of ten or three out of ten that is going.

Since then, I have realized a third possibility........Parents don't care.

Here is what I mean......Many parents do not expect spiritual connections at college because  they had none and came back to church after college.  I believe in some way or other, that message is communicated to college bound daughters and sons.  At the very least, they do not communicate any expectations of spiritual connections in church or campus religious organizations.

There are two problems with tis.  First, If they do come back, they bring the issues and decisions that they made while they were away from spiritual influences.  They have made life choices and often pick a spouse during this "vacation form God and church".  Second, right now studies indicate that those who go away in college are not coming back....at least not yet.

Here is one suggestion:  Parents should expect  and communicate that they expect spiritual involvement in college.  Can you control it?  No.  Can you control their studying and making good grades?  No.  But, most communicate that expectation.  So, why not communicate spiritual expectations?  Just like grades, you cannot mandate it, but you can express and encourage it.  That means asking questions about grades, going to class and attendance at Christian events like church and campus Christian organizations like the Baptist Collegiate Ministry.

A message many high schoolers are getting is that graduation is also graduation from church.  Having been at lots of church Senior Sundays, it felt like they were graduating from church.  There was nothing expressed about what is next, next steps, etc.  It is all, "Look what you have accomplished."  One large First Baptist Church experienced not a single senior came back to Sunday School following Senior Sunday.  Obviously, they had gotten the message they were done.

Here us another thing you can do:  make sure the Baptist Campus Minister and/or a local church minister has their name and contact information.  Many of these will be mailing, emailing, texting, or calling with information about Welcome Week events and other connection opportunities.  Their first friends and connections will help determine their college habits.

What a freshmen does their first 2-3 weeks of the fall goes a long way toward determining their habits and practices for their whole college career.  You can increase the odds by what you say and do AND letting someone know they are coming that will reach out to them.  NOW is the perfect time to do that.

One last suggestion:  If you go for Move-In Weekend, plan for all of you together to attend a college ministry church on that Sunday.  They are more likely to go back to somewhere they have already been and know where and how to go, get in, etc.  If you go for Parents Weekend this fall, make Sunday church part of the family schedule.  

Let someone know now they are coming and what their contact information is.

Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9 and 7 Red Flags In A Dating Relationship is at Amazon.com/dp/B0DTTRJH38.