7 Things High School Grads and Their Parents Need to Know

1.  Psychologists tell us that the two greatest times of change in a person's life are birth to age one.....AND high school graduation to Christmas.

Boom!  You just hit major life change time.....both student and parents.  All of what has defined you is changing.  You are no longer "the smartest one in class" or a cheerleader, or Captain of the team.  It is a time of figuring out, who am I really.  Parents are also figuring out how to do this new stage of more freedom, yet being a help.

2.  A major cause of conflict between new grads and parents is that they see things from opposite ends.

High school seniors/grads see it from the end that assumes the best possible thing will always happen.  Parents see it from the other end that the worst possible thing could happen.  Usually, the truth is somewhere between the two extremes.

Grads need to understand that parents are trying to protect them...not hold them back.

3.  For those going to college, the first 3 weeks are the most important of your whole college career!

What you do then goes a long way toward determining your success or failure in college.  You will make your friends.  You will get into a pattern and schedule.  Some blow off the first 3 weeks and get so far behind they literally destroy or damage their whole college career.

Luke 2:52 says, "Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man."  That is all about balance in life.  Get into a pattern of sleep, study, exercise, healthy relationships and eating right.  You can't stay up all night, live on chips and do well in classes....or even get there.

4.  Practicing you faith has to be an intentional choice and action.

Four out of five high school seniors active in church make NO spiritual connections in college.

3 Main Reasons:

    1.  Not making an intentional decision and priority of it during the first 2-3 weeks.  College is busier than high school.  It usually does not happen unless you choose to make a faith connection

    2.  Proving independence....no one is making me get up and go or checking on me.

    3.  Tough questions raised about faith by professors or other students.  Just because you don't know the answer to a tough questions about faith does not mean there is not one and that God does not exist.

5.  You need a posse.  Friends matter!

Pick your friends by your priorities, not your priorities by your new friends.  Want to make A's?  Make friends with others who want to make A's.   Want to grow as a Christian and make good choices?  Make friends with others who want to grow as a Christian and make wise choices.  You get the idea.  You will likely be like the people with whom you spend the most time.

6.  A national study on dating and marriage shows something pretty shocking!!  

You will marry someone you date!!!!  Don't date someone you would not ever marry.  Lots of college students admit they are dating someone different than who they hope to marry......but many wind up marrying that person.  Date stupid...Marry stupid!

7.  You have a new start!  Who and what do you want to be?  Even if you did it wrong in high school....now you get to start over.  Success or failure in high school does not automatically repeat itself in college.

The key to parent and student success:  Keep communicating.  Keep your parents in the loop on what is happening and decisions you are considering.

Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9  and  7 Red Flags In A Dating Relationship is available at Amazon.com/dp/B0DTTRJH38.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

 I am occasionally asked, "Why do you do what you do?"  That question refers to the fact that I retired from the ministry at Arkansas State University and since then have served 2 years as the part time College Minister at my church and continued to speak, lead some workshops, write my college ministry Blog, and self publish some college ministry books.

So, here is the simple answer.  It is who I am.....when people ask, my most honest answer is "I have not stopped being who I am."  I still think college students are the most interesting people to talk to.  I think it is the most critical place for Gospel Ministry.

Second, one of the things I came back from the war in Vietnam with was the sense that I wanted my life to count.  That feeling has not gone away.  I have a friend who retired and now one day a week he volunteers at the hospital.  Another day, he volunteers at a food pantry to give food to needy people.  And another day, he drives a van taking veterans to the hospital.  He wants his life to continue to count.  I don't volunteer in those ways.  Hooray for him!  I volunteer in college ministry.

Third, I was blessed to continue to work for Lifeway for about 5 years after I stepped away from the ministry at Arkansas State as a parttime college ministry consultant.  That and other college ministry positions were done away with when Lifeway had to cut $25 million dollars out of their budget.  There was no replacement for those positions.  Steve Masters at LSU, who had filled one of these positions, and I decided we would continue to do what we were doing as much as possible because there was still a need and we could help meet it.

Fourth, my church asked me to step in to the College Minister role when there was a sudden staff change at a critical time.  I made a commitment a long time ago to try to do whatever my church asked me to do. It was fun 90% of the time.

A fifth reason is a little more ticklish.  Nobody tells me what I can and cannot say in my Blog articles.  I can say something, if I think its correct and needs saying.  Occasionally, employees are told something they cannot say.  Several years ago, our ministry lost a fulltime worker and we were told not to say there had been cuts.  I understand not being critical of the people you work for.....but there had been cuts. I try to be careful what I say.....but nobody tells me what I can or cannot say.  Very seldom will I say anything that would fall in that category......but I can and once in a great while, I do.

God called me to do college ministry.  I have been offered jobs that paid more......they were ministry, but they were not college ministry.  I totally understand that sometimes people have to make hard decisions to support their families.  Sometimes, God calls and leads in a different way. Fortunately, I never had to make that tough decision in regard to college ministry or felt called in a different way.

My life is blessed because of college ministry.  It is a wonderful thing to feel blessed by what you feel God has called you to do and to continue to feel blessed by that calling and opportunities. The joy has way outpaced the hard years....and there have been a few. I hope you feel blessed by what you are called by God to do.

Arliss Dickerson has been called, "The Guru of practical college ministry" and has written several college ministry resources such as "Almost Everything About College Ministry" Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX and "Reaching MORE College Students" Amazon.com/dp/B0MW8NPMN

Are You Learning from OTHER Tribes or Camps in College Ministry?

I was speaking with a wise college ministry pro and he said, "One of the things we have lost in not having a national college ministry leader at Lifeway is someone who gets the different tribes together."

If you are not in the Baptist College Ministry family, you may not know that some years ago, during the height of Covid shutdowns, Southern Baptist Churches quit buying Bible study literature and Lifeway that provided it had to cut $25 million from their budget.  One of the cuts made was deleting the College Ministry Leader and office.  While the North American Mission Board has added a National Collegiate Director in Paul Worchester, his role is not as widely defined as the Lifeway person's was.

One of the problems with different tribes is that we tend to isolate in those tribes and not learn from each other.  Each tribe usually has their strengths and weaknesses.  While a tribe is formed around and all about their strengths, it is hard to see our weaknesses when we just look at and talk to those in our tribe.

So, what are the College Ministry Tribes in Baptist life?

Salt Company/Resonate Church - The Salt Company and Resonate Church represent a group of churches that are committed to establishing college student centered churches near or on campuses that have not normally been strong Baptist ministry areas.  They have a definite pattern and style. One of their strengths has been reaching non-churched students.  Those who start these churches tend to first intern or do a residency at one which has already been established.  Each church then goes by that blueprint.

Discipleship Campus Ministries - Some would call this "The Max Barnett Tribe" which came out of his long time ministry at Oklahoma University.  Their strength is evangelism, scripture memory and Bible study groups. They also demonstrate a strong missions emphasis.  Many of these ministries will have a large staff as a result of each staffer raising all or part of their salary.

Traditional BSU/BCM Ministries - These are the campus based ministries whose model is built around student leadership, developing student leaders and being very connected to and resourcing local Baptist Churches.  Their strength has been developing students for Christian life in the work and home world and future service as lay leaders in churches. An emerging emphasis is  helping students discern a call to ministry and move toward seminary and vocational ministry.

Church Based College Ministries - These tend to be done in larger Baptist Churches as a part of their overall ministry and outreach.  Some of these have specific student worship events and others focus more on connecting students to the church as a whole.  One of their strengths is teaching and leading students to church involvement for their adult life.  Due to their being out of a larger church, they often have significant resources for their ministry.

Of course, there are subsets of each of these and these descriptions are over simple and some might say even inaccurate.

But, here is the point:   Each has some very successful stories to tell as a result of what they are doing and how they are doing it.  We CAN and SHOULD be learning from each other AND NOT vilifying the other. Some of this is happening in the Collegiate Coaching Network, but we cannot overdo our sharing information and learning from each other.   It is also my belief that some locations and areas of the country tend to lend itself better to one tribe approach over another.  But, when we "tribe" we tend to only see what we think is the weakness or shortcoming of the other.  Let's make a point of seeing the strength of the other tribes and learning from each other.  It might even help us see and deal with our weak points.

So, what do YOU see as the Different Tribes?

Arliss Dickerson is known as "The Guru of Practical College Ministry" and has written several resources such as, "Reaching MORE College Students" Amazon.com/dp/B0MW8NPMN  and Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.

What Makes for a LARGE College Ministry?

 Large college ministries get all the publicity.  It can even be discouraging to lots of College Ministers.  Their ministry is not LARGE.  But, there are not as many LARGE college ministries as a lot of people would assume.  AND, college ministries go through different cycles and some that were large may not be so now. Even though most of us will not or do not currently lead a LARGE ministry, there are always things we can learn from.  AND, some that lead a LARGE ministry, could not lead the one you are leading.

So, what are some factors in LARGE college ministries?

1.  Staff is always the first answer.  It takes more people to reach more people.

2.  Workable strategy that was developed with THAT campus in mind.  There can be a multiple staff with a plan that is not workable or does not fit that campus.  The right and well thought out strategy is huge.

3.  The first 3 weeks of the fall semester is maximized in every way!  Well done events that connect to new and returning students is huge....at a time when students are most available.  

4.  Great follow-up with first timers.  Do those who came the first time know you care?  Will anyone know or care, if they come back?

5.  A consistent and conducive meeting place.  Can students find it?  Does it fit what you are trying to do?

6.  Quality well trained, highly invested student leaders.  Staff does not replace strong student leaders who are willing to invest significant time and energy in the ministry.

7.  Reputation.  When a ministry is well known and has a GOOD reputation, more students hear about it, more people recommend it, and so more students attend.

8.  What other ministries are or are not doing.  Some campuses have lots of ministries which affects the number of students available.  Some ministries can have a bad name due to their practices and it affects all the other ministries in a negative way.

9.  Good speaker and/or band or worship leader.  The speaker or the music do not have to be perfect, but they have to be good and relatable.

10.  Long term quality ministry leader. The personality of the leader will be reflected in the ministry.  The reputation of the ministry will be largely tied to the reputation of the leader.  The cooperation and support of the ministry by other individuals and groups grows with the tenure and growing respect extended toward the leader.

11.  Food.  Yeah, joke all you want about it.  But food can be a significant factor.  It can be a draw.  It can be a factor in people visiting and connecting on a personal level.

12.  Money, Money, Money.  Money does not make a ministry, but it is difficult to have much highly impactful ministry without some level of decent financial support.

Likely there are not many ministries that would have all these and it is not necessary to have all these to have a strong or large ministry (and strong and large are not necessarily the same).

Which of these factors do you have that you could improve on OR which ones should you be trying to develop?

Remember, a Beer Bust will draw a crowd, but that does not mean it was a beneficial event!

"Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."  Matthew 9:37-38

Check out Arliss' books like Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades at Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9 and  Almost Everything About College Ministry Amazon.com/dp/B08CMD9CXX.

Reminders for Older College Ministers

 1.  Act your age.  Those that try to pretend they are younger are only fooling themselves.  Besides, students probably think you are older than you are.  

2.  But, get rid of the Dad Jeans!  While trying to dress young does not work; dressing like you have not been to the store in ten years does not help either. Besides, I am all about looking professional when meeting with school administrators.

3.  Resist the temptation to tell students how things were "back in the day".

4.  Mentor and/or encourage younger College Ministers.  It will benefit them and you.

5.  Colonel Sanders started KFC at age 65.  Some of your best ministry years can still be ahead of you.

6.  You may not can or should not play intramural football and basketball, but you can go to some of the games....and you should.

7.  If there is not an occasional meeting of those who do ministry on campus maybe you should host one.  Your experience can benefit all of ministry on the campus.

8.  You don't have to stay in a hotel room with three students....its ok to get a decent night's sleep.  And as another Campus Minister reminded me, that can prevent you ever being falsely accused of inappropriate behavior.

9.  Take the opportunity to minister to faculty and staff, but don't let that become all your ministry.  While faculty are people God loves just like He loves students.  You are there primarily for students.

Materials for Study Groups or Student Gifts:

"Tips for College Freshmen:  124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades" Amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9

"7 Red Flags In A Dating Relationship" Amazon.com/dp/B0DTTRJH38

"A College Student's Guide to Spiritual Maturity" Amazon.com/dp/B0CXTCNB1