1. Remember that ministry is about people.....prioritize people time!
2. Remember certain days are better for certain things. So, plan and block that way.
-This varies from situation to situation.
-Some days have less interruptions and are better for paperwork.
-Main event days should have main events items prioritized.
-Do standing student appointments.
-Plan and calendar speaking prep time.
3. Eat where students eat at least once or twice a week.
-It can be set appointments with individuals or groups.
-It can be show up and see who you run into.
4. Walk through the Student Center and across the campus every day.
-In thirty minutes time you can make great contacts in "bump situations".
-It shows faculty, administration and students that you are a person of the campus.
-It will keep you tuned into the culture of your campus.
5. Block your student appointments.
-For regular weekly appointments, ask your students to give you three times they can
meet and then block appointments in groupings close to each other to avoid the loss
of 15-30 minutes between appointments. See number 1.
Arliss Dickerson is a part time college ministry consultant for Lifeway Christian Resources and is the author of five books on college ministry in eBook and print at amazon.com (type in Arliss Dickerson). "ALMOST Everything About College Ministry" coming this summer.
Monday, April 29, 2019
Monday, April 22, 2019
Pressure in College Ministry?
Do College Ministers feel pressure? Those who have any awareness of the realities of ministry would say that pastors have the pressure of budgets, attendance, etc but that other ministers and particularly College Ministers likely do not experience pressure. Let me correct the record for those of you outside college ministry...AND for those College Ministers who feel YOU are the only one. Lots of College Ministers feel pressure!
Let me briefly share my story. When I came to Arkansas State, several churches were critical of the ministry and I felt the pressure to do well and communicate well what we were doing. Later on as the ministry grew and our on campus Center was too small and outdated, we raised the money to build a new and larger Center. Then, I felt the pressure of filling the larger building that we had built. We had said that our limited space was limiting what we were doing. So, now with the larger building, we should be growing. While we did grow and get larger in the number we were reaching, I never felt we reached as many as we should and let that nag at me.
Simply put, I believe there are three causes to the pressures many of us feel in college ministry:
EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS
Some serve on campuses in the south that are well known and high profile for some reason or other and consequently, there is the expectation that those ministries would be large or seen as successful. They are sometimes called "Flagship campuses'. Because of their visibility, there is a greater expectation placed on them. Due to their higher profile, it is easier to draw resources, but the back side of that can be high expectations.
COMPETITION
In some situations there are multiple ministries and the perception of our ministry affects the response of students and the financial support received. So, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling we must match or outdo what another ministry is doing. Comparison is one of the killers of College Ministers. No two situations are the same or have identical resources.
OUR INNER DEMONS
Someone has said our inner voices are always negative. So, often we hear the inner voices say we are not doing enough or if we do not have X number attend our events that we have failed. We may have generous supporters and while they feel great about what is happening, our inner voices are saying if we don't reach more, we are letting our supporters down. And, sometimes we just let our desire to do our best get out of hand.
Here are what I believe are some possible helps in dealing with our sense of pressure.
TRUST IN THE LORD
I usually hate this answer when I hear it. But, I know it is true. Trust the Lord. Remind ourselves that He is always doing MORE than we see or know. Realize that when it is going well, it is not all our doing and when it is struggling, it is not all our fault. Trust in the Lord and pray asking God to help us see ourselves and the situation realistically and to function as He would have us to.
SET REALISTIC GOALS
Often our sense of pressure is a result of unrealistic goals. Sue, (my wonderful wife) said to me once when I was fuming...."It is not possible for every year to be better than the year before.". That is absolutely correct. Not matter how good, how strong, or how large your ministry is, every year cannot be better than the one before it. Set realistic goals and remember that working with people always brings a variety of results. I know a ministry that often receives $50,000 checks from supporters. Consequently, they can do things most of our ministries cannot. Set goals consistent with your resources and what has happened in the past.
HAVE A SOUNDING BOARD
All of us need one or two folks who get what we do and to whom we can be totally honest. Make sure you have one or two like that....besides your spouse. Obviously, we can share with our spouse about our ministry and we need to. But, sometimes we are placing more stress on them while it is relieving it on ourselves. Face to face are the best sounding boards, but cell phone buddies work too. Have a friend in ministry you can and do sound off to regularly and can even talk about your inner demons. You need someone to whom you can be totally honest and respect their feedback.
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
If we work ALL the time, then work will be all we can process. Make sure you spend time with family (for you and them). Exercise regularly and have something fun that you do. Don't say, "My work is my play." I hope you love your work that much, but it is unhealthy if that is all you have. Ministers are some of the worst people about having Sabbath in their lives. We are not meant to work 24/7. Don't schedule every evening. Work hard; do the work of the ministry, but make sure there is some time there every week that renews and refreshes you.
Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen: 124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.
Let me briefly share my story. When I came to Arkansas State, several churches were critical of the ministry and I felt the pressure to do well and communicate well what we were doing. Later on as the ministry grew and our on campus Center was too small and outdated, we raised the money to build a new and larger Center. Then, I felt the pressure of filling the larger building that we had built. We had said that our limited space was limiting what we were doing. So, now with the larger building, we should be growing. While we did grow and get larger in the number we were reaching, I never felt we reached as many as we should and let that nag at me.
Simply put, I believe there are three causes to the pressures many of us feel in college ministry:
EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS
Some serve on campuses in the south that are well known and high profile for some reason or other and consequently, there is the expectation that those ministries would be large or seen as successful. They are sometimes called "Flagship campuses'. Because of their visibility, there is a greater expectation placed on them. Due to their higher profile, it is easier to draw resources, but the back side of that can be high expectations.
COMPETITION
In some situations there are multiple ministries and the perception of our ministry affects the response of students and the financial support received. So, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling we must match or outdo what another ministry is doing. Comparison is one of the killers of College Ministers. No two situations are the same or have identical resources.
OUR INNER DEMONS
Someone has said our inner voices are always negative. So, often we hear the inner voices say we are not doing enough or if we do not have X number attend our events that we have failed. We may have generous supporters and while they feel great about what is happening, our inner voices are saying if we don't reach more, we are letting our supporters down. And, sometimes we just let our desire to do our best get out of hand.
Here are what I believe are some possible helps in dealing with our sense of pressure.
TRUST IN THE LORD
I usually hate this answer when I hear it. But, I know it is true. Trust the Lord. Remind ourselves that He is always doing MORE than we see or know. Realize that when it is going well, it is not all our doing and when it is struggling, it is not all our fault. Trust in the Lord and pray asking God to help us see ourselves and the situation realistically and to function as He would have us to.
SET REALISTIC GOALS
Often our sense of pressure is a result of unrealistic goals. Sue, (my wonderful wife) said to me once when I was fuming...."It is not possible for every year to be better than the year before.". That is absolutely correct. Not matter how good, how strong, or how large your ministry is, every year cannot be better than the one before it. Set realistic goals and remember that working with people always brings a variety of results. I know a ministry that often receives $50,000 checks from supporters. Consequently, they can do things most of our ministries cannot. Set goals consistent with your resources and what has happened in the past.
HAVE A SOUNDING BOARD
All of us need one or two folks who get what we do and to whom we can be totally honest. Make sure you have one or two like that....besides your spouse. Obviously, we can share with our spouse about our ministry and we need to. But, sometimes we are placing more stress on them while it is relieving it on ourselves. Face to face are the best sounding boards, but cell phone buddies work too. Have a friend in ministry you can and do sound off to regularly and can even talk about your inner demons. You need someone to whom you can be totally honest and respect their feedback.
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
If we work ALL the time, then work will be all we can process. Make sure you spend time with family (for you and them). Exercise regularly and have something fun that you do. Don't say, "My work is my play." I hope you love your work that much, but it is unhealthy if that is all you have. Ministers are some of the worst people about having Sabbath in their lives. We are not meant to work 24/7. Don't schedule every evening. Work hard; do the work of the ministry, but make sure there is some time there every week that renews and refreshes you.
Arliss Dickerson's book, Tips for College Freshmen: 124 Tips for Fun, Faith & Good Grades, is available at amazon.com/dp/B09QFB9DJ9.
Monday, April 15, 2019
Do You LEAD a Meeting or PRESIDE at a Meeting?
Recently, I attended a meeting where some business was to be discussed and some decisions made. I left the meeting super frustrated. Because the person in charge had presided at the meeting instead of leading it. Toward the end of the meeting, a gentlemen spoke up and expressed some concern about a situation, stated some inaccurate information and suggested some actions based on that inaccurate information. The person in charge of the meeting thanked him for his comments and adjourned the meeting. There was nothing said about his inaccurate information and there was no opportunity given for a response or rebuttal and his call for action was ignored.
So, what is the difference in presiding and leading? There is a proper and right time for both. For some reason, I have been asked to preside at some retirement events for colleagues and at some informational programs. A "Presider" generally introduces each part of the program and guides the event. For example, at a retirement event a while back there were several speakers who spoke about our friend who was retiring. My job was to give some information and announcements about the evening in general and to introduce each speaker. At the end of the evening I introduced the honoree and his spouse for their closing comments of thanks. That is a general example of what a "Presider" does most of the time.
EXCEPT, there is one occasional task of a "Presider" that is not pleasant. It is when for the overall benefit of the event, the "Presider" must call time on a speaker. A couple of years ago I was presiding over a professional program when a missionary who was sharing the most inspiring, gut-wrenching testimony I have ever heard began to go way over his allotted time. Everyone present was mesmerized. But, I began to realize that he was way over his time and no where near an end. I got a text from the back of the room saying it was time for somebody to do something. I was the somebody. The problem was there were several seminars scheduled immediately to follow and several people were there to lead. I had to do what I had to do. I stepped up and stood there for a moment and when he paused, I said, "We have to wrap up to get to some other scheduled things, but please finish your thought and let's take a couple of quick questions."
So, what is the difference in leading a meeting? A "Leader" is one who is responsible for seeing that the purpose of the meeting is carried out. Let's say it is a committee meeting. For what purpose has the committee met? Are there decisions to be made? Are there possible actions to take? Are there responsibilities to be assigned? A "Leader" is to see that those things happen.
Here are a few Guidelines for LEADING a meeting:
-I am a huge fanatic about having a starting and ending time. Everyone knowing there is a time limit helps speed the content. Sometimes, it helps to say something like, "We have about ten minutes left before our ending time, so where do we need to go from here?"
-When there is discussion of a proposal, idea, or just brainstorming, it is helpful when the "Leader" will periodically sum up what has been said. And, move on when people are simply re-hashing the same points.
-When information is given, if there are countering views or ideas, a "Leader" will give both sides a fair opportunity to present their thoughts.
-When inaccurate information is given, a "Leader" will try to see that accurate information is provided.
-A "Leader" will attempt to make even disagreement civil and respectful.
-If someone calls for an action, that request will be responded to in some way. Some examples: "Let's you and I visit after this and clarify your request." Or, "I will plan on our taking this p at our next meeting in some way or other."
-At the end of the meeting, assignments will be made that need to be made.
Some Questions to Ask:
1. What is the purpose of the meeting?
2. Is what is happening moving us toward achieving the purpose?
3. Will people leave feeling their time and input has been valued?
4. Will everyone present feel they had the opportunity to participate, if they so desired?
If you are leading a meeting, be a "Leader". If you are asked to preside, be a "Presider".....even if it means being the one to call time, if necessary.
Arliss Dickerson's book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.
So, what is the difference in presiding and leading? There is a proper and right time for both. For some reason, I have been asked to preside at some retirement events for colleagues and at some informational programs. A "Presider" generally introduces each part of the program and guides the event. For example, at a retirement event a while back there were several speakers who spoke about our friend who was retiring. My job was to give some information and announcements about the evening in general and to introduce each speaker. At the end of the evening I introduced the honoree and his spouse for their closing comments of thanks. That is a general example of what a "Presider" does most of the time.
EXCEPT, there is one occasional task of a "Presider" that is not pleasant. It is when for the overall benefit of the event, the "Presider" must call time on a speaker. A couple of years ago I was presiding over a professional program when a missionary who was sharing the most inspiring, gut-wrenching testimony I have ever heard began to go way over his allotted time. Everyone present was mesmerized. But, I began to realize that he was way over his time and no where near an end. I got a text from the back of the room saying it was time for somebody to do something. I was the somebody. The problem was there were several seminars scheduled immediately to follow and several people were there to lead. I had to do what I had to do. I stepped up and stood there for a moment and when he paused, I said, "We have to wrap up to get to some other scheduled things, but please finish your thought and let's take a couple of quick questions."
So, what is the difference in leading a meeting? A "Leader" is one who is responsible for seeing that the purpose of the meeting is carried out. Let's say it is a committee meeting. For what purpose has the committee met? Are there decisions to be made? Are there possible actions to take? Are there responsibilities to be assigned? A "Leader" is to see that those things happen.
Here are a few Guidelines for LEADING a meeting:
-I am a huge fanatic about having a starting and ending time. Everyone knowing there is a time limit helps speed the content. Sometimes, it helps to say something like, "We have about ten minutes left before our ending time, so where do we need to go from here?"
-When there is discussion of a proposal, idea, or just brainstorming, it is helpful when the "Leader" will periodically sum up what has been said. And, move on when people are simply re-hashing the same points.
-When information is given, if there are countering views or ideas, a "Leader" will give both sides a fair opportunity to present their thoughts.
-When inaccurate information is given, a "Leader" will try to see that accurate information is provided.
-A "Leader" will attempt to make even disagreement civil and respectful.
-If someone calls for an action, that request will be responded to in some way. Some examples: "Let's you and I visit after this and clarify your request." Or, "I will plan on our taking this p at our next meeting in some way or other."
-At the end of the meeting, assignments will be made that need to be made.
Some Questions to Ask:
1. What is the purpose of the meeting?
2. Is what is happening moving us toward achieving the purpose?
3. Will people leave feeling their time and input has been valued?
4. Will everyone present feel they had the opportunity to participate, if they so desired?
If you are leading a meeting, be a "Leader". If you are asked to preside, be a "Presider".....even if it means being the one to call time, if necessary.
Arliss Dickerson's book, ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE MINISTRY, is available at amazon.com.
Monday, April 8, 2019
What Is Appropriate? Should College Ministers Hug Students?
My thoughts today come out of the political world, but are non-partisan. It relates to the discussion of what is appropriate in regard to former Vice President Joe Biden and his hugging and kissing women on the forehead, back of the head, etc. While I am not as old as Mr. Biden, I am closer to his generation than those speaking against his actions.
Several years ago, I attended a College Minister meeting where it was suggested that we not hug our students in order to avoid any mis-understandings. It was even said we might wind up in legal troubles. I remember saying, "I guess I will wind up in jail, because I will continue to hug my students." It has been my experience that so many of our students have no one who expresses any affection toward them. I have patted on the shoulder, back, and hugged students through the years.
We have had lots of discussions about appropriate ways to hug....thus the famous "Christian side hug" utilized by many. I do not want our students to be uncomfortable and I certainly do not want to see any of our College Ministers wind up in legal jeopardy. So, where is the right place to land on this?
Some have said that part of this discussion is fueled by our students now doing relationships by text and snapchat, etc instead of face to face. It has been argued that they are losing sight of how to do personal relationships.
I believe in the power of touch. The Sunday Bible Study group of older adults I lead has been studying the miracles of Jesus. We read where he sometimes touched people to heal them...although some miracles he did not, which indicates it was not "necessary" for Him to touch them. It seems his touch was one of affirmation and compassion. And, touching a leper was a big deal. He could have healed him just with a word....but Jesus touched him. Likely, no one had touched him since he had contracted the disease.
Have the rules changed? Or is this simply a minor deal being made large because of the politics involved? Is there still a need and place for us to touch our students....hug our students? Some years back when I spoke each Thursday night at a large group worship event on campus, I would sometimes say, "When this is over, I will be standing at the door on the left, if anyone needs a hug." And there would usually be one or more takers who would often say something about a bad day or week.
When, where and how the hug happens can be part of the answer. I can remember two or three instances where female students reached out and hugged me in a way I felt uncomfortable with and in a situation where it was just the two of us. I quickly moved away and walked us into another part of the building. I cannot speak to their motive or intent for certain, but I wanted to make sure it was not mis-interpreted either by them or in conversations later.
The other day I reached out to shake hands with one of my male students. He ignored my outstretched hand and hugged me. I took it as a compliment and a blessing.
I do not have a magic word on this. I will just say think through this, be intentional in what and how you do, and let's not let politics be the final word in how we do ministry. And, I will close by quoting that great theologian, John Wayne, "Life is hard and life is harder when you are stupid.".
Arliss Dickerson is the author of five books on college ministry available for 99 cents each in eBook format at amazon.com. His paperback, FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, is currently priced at $3.99.
Several years ago, I attended a College Minister meeting where it was suggested that we not hug our students in order to avoid any mis-understandings. It was even said we might wind up in legal troubles. I remember saying, "I guess I will wind up in jail, because I will continue to hug my students." It has been my experience that so many of our students have no one who expresses any affection toward them. I have patted on the shoulder, back, and hugged students through the years.
We have had lots of discussions about appropriate ways to hug....thus the famous "Christian side hug" utilized by many. I do not want our students to be uncomfortable and I certainly do not want to see any of our College Ministers wind up in legal jeopardy. So, where is the right place to land on this?
Some have said that part of this discussion is fueled by our students now doing relationships by text and snapchat, etc instead of face to face. It has been argued that they are losing sight of how to do personal relationships.
I believe in the power of touch. The Sunday Bible Study group of older adults I lead has been studying the miracles of Jesus. We read where he sometimes touched people to heal them...although some miracles he did not, which indicates it was not "necessary" for Him to touch them. It seems his touch was one of affirmation and compassion. And, touching a leper was a big deal. He could have healed him just with a word....but Jesus touched him. Likely, no one had touched him since he had contracted the disease.
Have the rules changed? Or is this simply a minor deal being made large because of the politics involved? Is there still a need and place for us to touch our students....hug our students? Some years back when I spoke each Thursday night at a large group worship event on campus, I would sometimes say, "When this is over, I will be standing at the door on the left, if anyone needs a hug." And there would usually be one or more takers who would often say something about a bad day or week.
When, where and how the hug happens can be part of the answer. I can remember two or three instances where female students reached out and hugged me in a way I felt uncomfortable with and in a situation where it was just the two of us. I quickly moved away and walked us into another part of the building. I cannot speak to their motive or intent for certain, but I wanted to make sure it was not mis-interpreted either by them or in conversations later.
The other day I reached out to shake hands with one of my male students. He ignored my outstretched hand and hugged me. I took it as a compliment and a blessing.
I do not have a magic word on this. I will just say think through this, be intentional in what and how you do, and let's not let politics be the final word in how we do ministry. And, I will close by quoting that great theologian, John Wayne, "Life is hard and life is harder when you are stupid.".
Arliss Dickerson is the author of five books on college ministry available for 99 cents each in eBook format at amazon.com. His paperback, FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, is currently priced at $3.99.
Monday, April 1, 2019
Why College Ministries Should Post on Facebook
In my role these past two years as a Church College Minister, I post on Facebook on my account and the University Ministry account every week. And, I think you should as well. I post what will be happening that week and then later that night or the next day I usually post a picture or two or three from the event. The current wisdom is that college students don't use Facebook anymore. Some of our college students don't read all the trends articles and do not know they are not supposed to look at Facebook. Of course they use other media, but they still look at Facebook.
BUT, I would post about our events on Facebook even if I knew no student would see it. First of all, in my situation I serve at a church that has a long history of college ministry both at church and in support of the BCM ministry. But, in recent years due to a variety of things, our church has lost some of its vision and passion for college ministry. I post what will happen and what has happened to remind our folks of this vision and to help re-kindle their love of it AND their support of it.
SECOND, It is pretty surprising how many parents of our students who are from another location in our state follow me on Facebook and look at what we are doing. One mother even sent me a message....on Facebook.....last week asking how she could make a donation to our ministry. We do not ask that or promote that in any way. It simply came out of her awareness and gratitude. Parents being on your side helps in a ton of ways.
Parents of our local students who are not involved see what we are doing and even if they do not influence or do not have any influence on their student to attend. They see and know the quality of what we are doing. That matters in more ways than one.
Ever since I grew up as the son of a photographer, I know how much pictures matter and that they can tell a story it would take pages to write. It can show the size of the crowd. A picture of a group of students shows some of who is there....and is particularly popular with those parents who are looking and clicking "Like" when they see their son or daughter.
_________reasons to post on Facebook:
1. It shows those you work for what you are doing.
2. It spreads the word to Youth Ministers and Pastors who may encourage future students to be part of your ministry.
3. It helps parents be aware of what their son or daughter is doing and draws their support.
4. It helps parents whose son or daughter is not involved what some opportunities are. Sometimes they have been told, "There is just nothing happening.".
5. It broadens the support among your stakeholders. One friend of mine who is a BCM Director always posts his thank you's to the church who provided the meal for his outreach Lunch Program that day. There are lots of good reasons to do that.
Arliss Dickerson is the author of five books on college ministry available in eBook format for 99 cents each at amazon.com. His paperback, FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, is currently priced at $3.99 on Amazon.
BUT, I would post about our events on Facebook even if I knew no student would see it. First of all, in my situation I serve at a church that has a long history of college ministry both at church and in support of the BCM ministry. But, in recent years due to a variety of things, our church has lost some of its vision and passion for college ministry. I post what will happen and what has happened to remind our folks of this vision and to help re-kindle their love of it AND their support of it.
SECOND, It is pretty surprising how many parents of our students who are from another location in our state follow me on Facebook and look at what we are doing. One mother even sent me a message....on Facebook.....last week asking how she could make a donation to our ministry. We do not ask that or promote that in any way. It simply came out of her awareness and gratitude. Parents being on your side helps in a ton of ways.
Parents of our local students who are not involved see what we are doing and even if they do not influence or do not have any influence on their student to attend. They see and know the quality of what we are doing. That matters in more ways than one.
Ever since I grew up as the son of a photographer, I know how much pictures matter and that they can tell a story it would take pages to write. It can show the size of the crowd. A picture of a group of students shows some of who is there....and is particularly popular with those parents who are looking and clicking "Like" when they see their son or daughter.
_________reasons to post on Facebook:
1. It shows those you work for what you are doing.
2. It spreads the word to Youth Ministers and Pastors who may encourage future students to be part of your ministry.
3. It helps parents be aware of what their son or daughter is doing and draws their support.
4. It helps parents whose son or daughter is not involved what some opportunities are. Sometimes they have been told, "There is just nothing happening.".
5. It broadens the support among your stakeholders. One friend of mine who is a BCM Director always posts his thank you's to the church who provided the meal for his outreach Lunch Program that day. There are lots of good reasons to do that.
Arliss Dickerson is the author of five books on college ministry available in eBook format for 99 cents each at amazon.com. His paperback, FIXING A BROKEN COLLEGE MINISTRY, is currently priced at $3.99 on Amazon.
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