We all are looking for the simplified version of how to do a task....the Readers Digest or Clif Notes for college ministry. What is it that will make students be lifetime followers of Jesus, love His church and be workers in it? That is all we want to know. For those who do church college ministry, what's the ONE thing?
This past weekend I spoke for the worship service of Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana and led some sessions for their students and adult college ministry leaders. Here is the thing they are doing that is great.....and in my mind may be the secret ONE thing for the long run of these students' kingdom service.
Cook Baptist Church and their College Minister, Chris Walker, are doing a terrific job of connecting their college students to the church as a whole. The students feel a part of the church. They don't just attend collegiate events sponsored by the church....they are a part of the church.
One of the ways they are doing this is through a monthly lunch for college students following the worship service. Each one of those lunches is a potluck provided by one of the adult Sunday School Departments AND attended by members of that Sunday School group. They mix and mingle. They even do some games such as what I call "People Bingo". This is where participants have to find someone who has been to California to sign their square or someone who has four kids, etc.
Not surprisingly, Chris says their attendance of students goes up a little on those potluck lunch Sundays....who would have thought it? Sometimes, they seat people at tables in occupational groupings which allows students to meet older adults who are doing the very thing the student hopes to do later in life.
Many who are studying high school ministry and the loss of high schoolers to faith following graduation believe that part of the issue is separating youth ministry from the church as a whole. So, when high schoolers graduate from the youth group, in effect, they feel they have graduated from church. The more we separate our college students into college only events....are we not repeating the same mistake?
Another Encouraging Word: Cook Baptist is not a large church.....it is not tiny, but it is not large. Many churches feel they must be large in order to have a strong and effective college ministry. I would even go as far as to say, that it is easier in a smaller church to connect college students to the church as a whole.
Some would argue, perhaps correctly, that we can reach more students if we do events in our churches just for students. But, the argument might be made that the net lifelong effect is best achieved by connecting students to the church as a whole. That is the ONE thing that a church college ministry can do that a campus based ministry cannot.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 23, 2017
One College Minister's Weekly Schedule...What is Yours?
I recently did a workshop for College Ministers in the Northeast. After doing four sessions, one person told me the most helpful thing I shared was something I said in the Q and A time. Someone asked me to share what my weekly schedule was like when I was College Minister at Arkansas State, rather than now just being someone that talks about college ministry. I share this not to say, this is the perfect way to do it, or even a good way.....it was just my way. In conversations with two pastor friends recently at two different times, both have told me they have young staffers who have great ability, but don't work well due to not seeming to know how to use their time to the best advantage.
Do you have a plan for your work week? Are you using your time to be the best advantage????
Obviously, without every detail and with gaps for things that were not every day or every week tasks, here was my normal weekly schedule as Baptist Collegiate Minister at Arkansas State University.
Monday
8:30 Get ready for staff meeting
9-11 Staff meeting
12:00 Lunch in ASU Cafeteria with students
1:00-5:00 Primarily individual meetings with Team Leaders (1 hour each)
5:00 Details for and getting ready to visit with leaders and freshmen arriving.
6:15 Freshmen Night Bible Studies
7:15 Visit with students following groups
7:30 Set up for Wednesday Lunch Program
8:00 Home for supper
Tuesday
8:30 -12:00 Administrative tasks/Primarily looking at larger picture, deal with finances, alums, etc.
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Individual meetings. Walk thru the ASU Student Center.
3:00 Finish prep to lead Freshmen Leadership Team meeting.
5:00 Freshmen Leadership Team Meeting
6:15 Home for Supper
My rule was we had nothing on Tuesday night and I was at home. When my girls were younger, I would take Tuesday afternoons off to pick them up from school and spend some extra time with them.
Wednesday
7:30 Help put signs out on campus and visit with students headed to classes.
8:45 Walk the campus main walkways visiting with students/inviting & reminding about Lunch.
9:45 Walk the campus main walkways again.
10:00-11:30 Help Church bringing the food to get in, set up, visit with them, etc.
11:30 Begin greeting, visiting with students arriving for Lunch Program.
12-12:45 Lunch Program
1:00 Visit, connect and begin to clean up, take down and help church folks get out and gone. Set-up would begin for our Thursday night program
2:00 Send messages or make contact somehow with first timers to the Lunch program.
5:00 Head out to church for supper, Committee meetings, Bible study
Thursday
8:30-11 Final Prep for speaking that night at our Worship event. I laid out all my topic, scripture and outlines prior to the semester.
12:00 Sometime lunch away from campus with my wife/sometimes lunch in ASU Cafeteria
1:00-3:30 Individual meetings/Odds and ends/Any Prep for Leadership meeting/walk the campus.
3:30 Visit with students arriving for weekly leadership meeting
4:00 Weekly Leadership Team meeting
5:15 Re-look my Bible study notes/Double check details for Worship event
5:45 Students begin to arrive for worship event.
6:15-7:30 Weekly Worship Event
7:30 Visit or After event fellowship
8:00 Home for supper
Friday
9:00 - 12 Make contact, send message to first timers from last night/Have a couple of meetings.
12:00 Lunch away from campus
1:00 - 5:00 Usually VERY quiet...did much of my thinking, planning, alumni work, write thank you notes, etc. Friday was clean up day for me. The last thing of the day was to get my desk clean for the coming week.
Sunday - I taught a Sunday School class of my peers after learning by my wife's caution that I did not have many peer friends and only knew how to talk to college students. Plus, I wanted to expect churchmanship from my students and not demonstrate it in my own life.
OR: If we had a Retreat or other special event that weekend, that would be my focus of the afternoon.
Do you have a plan for your work week? Are you using your time to be the best advantage????
Obviously, without every detail and with gaps for things that were not every day or every week tasks, here was my normal weekly schedule as Baptist Collegiate Minister at Arkansas State University.
Monday
8:30 Get ready for staff meeting
9-11 Staff meeting
12:00 Lunch in ASU Cafeteria with students
1:00-5:00 Primarily individual meetings with Team Leaders (1 hour each)
5:00 Details for and getting ready to visit with leaders and freshmen arriving.
6:15 Freshmen Night Bible Studies
7:15 Visit with students following groups
7:30 Set up for Wednesday Lunch Program
8:00 Home for supper
Tuesday
8:30 -12:00 Administrative tasks/Primarily looking at larger picture, deal with finances, alums, etc.
12:00 Lunch
1:00 Individual meetings. Walk thru the ASU Student Center.
3:00 Finish prep to lead Freshmen Leadership Team meeting.
5:00 Freshmen Leadership Team Meeting
6:15 Home for Supper
My rule was we had nothing on Tuesday night and I was at home. When my girls were younger, I would take Tuesday afternoons off to pick them up from school and spend some extra time with them.
Wednesday
7:30 Help put signs out on campus and visit with students headed to classes.
8:45 Walk the campus main walkways visiting with students/inviting & reminding about Lunch.
9:45 Walk the campus main walkways again.
10:00-11:30 Help Church bringing the food to get in, set up, visit with them, etc.
11:30 Begin greeting, visiting with students arriving for Lunch Program.
12-12:45 Lunch Program
1:00 Visit, connect and begin to clean up, take down and help church folks get out and gone. Set-up would begin for our Thursday night program
2:00 Send messages or make contact somehow with first timers to the Lunch program.
5:00 Head out to church for supper, Committee meetings, Bible study
Thursday
8:30-11 Final Prep for speaking that night at our Worship event. I laid out all my topic, scripture and outlines prior to the semester.
12:00 Sometime lunch away from campus with my wife/sometimes lunch in ASU Cafeteria
1:00-3:30 Individual meetings/Odds and ends/Any Prep for Leadership meeting/walk the campus.
3:30 Visit with students arriving for weekly leadership meeting
4:00 Weekly Leadership Team meeting
5:15 Re-look my Bible study notes/Double check details for Worship event
5:45 Students begin to arrive for worship event.
6:15-7:30 Weekly Worship Event
7:30 Visit or After event fellowship
8:00 Home for supper
Friday
9:00 - 12 Make contact, send message to first timers from last night/Have a couple of meetings.
12:00 Lunch away from campus
1:00 - 5:00 Usually VERY quiet...did much of my thinking, planning, alumni work, write thank you notes, etc. Friday was clean up day for me. The last thing of the day was to get my desk clean for the coming week.
Sunday - I taught a Sunday School class of my peers after learning by my wife's caution that I did not have many peer friends and only knew how to talk to college students. Plus, I wanted to expect churchmanship from my students and not demonstrate it in my own life.
OR: If we had a Retreat or other special event that weekend, that would be my focus of the afternoon.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
5 Suggestions for Starting This Ministry
A former student of mine who serves as a Youth Minister became concerned that there was no college ministry in his town at the branch of the area University located there. So, he gets about starting one. The branch campus has loaned him a space of 1500 square feet to start something. He is looking for furniture for it and how to use it.
He sent me the following message, "OK collegiate ministry expert.....what would be the first five things you would be doing, if it were you trying to get things off the ground?". He always did put it straight to the point. I hate it when people expect you to know something about what you talk about all the time!
Simply put, here are my answers:
1. Get some ping pong paddles and balls to go with the ping pong table that someone just gave you. I saw it on facebook that someone had just given him the table.
2. Put together a group of 3-5 students to be a leadership team.
He has been in the community a long time and knows everyone and has many of his former youth who attend classes there. It is a basic principle of mine that students do the best job of reaching other students. So, get some students in on this from the very start.
3. Ask if the school will give you any kind of religious preference list.
This may seem way out of the possible to some of you. However, the main campus of which this is a branch does so. Many of these totally commuter situations see the need of working with anyone that is helping their students connect. And, they just gave him the space to use. In the past, ACT information that each school received had a student's religious preference information on it. I would ask them if it still does and can they access it for him..
4. Set up an Information Table at a central point.
Give away information AND have a give-away for which they can sign up by filling out an Info Card or a Religious Preference Card. The give-away can be as simple as a gift card to Subway or more elaborate, if you have it to give.
5. Have a fun everyone invited type of event....could be some sort of welcome party or a free food event.
Make it very informal with no heavy message or program. It might be the "Grand Opening" of the new space that he is filling with furniture, etc. The point is awareness....again, I would do something to get names and contact info. Lunch time is often the best time on a totally commuter campus situation.
He sent me the following message, "OK collegiate ministry expert.....what would be the first five things you would be doing, if it were you trying to get things off the ground?". He always did put it straight to the point. I hate it when people expect you to know something about what you talk about all the time!
Simply put, here are my answers:
1. Get some ping pong paddles and balls to go with the ping pong table that someone just gave you. I saw it on facebook that someone had just given him the table.
2. Put together a group of 3-5 students to be a leadership team.
He has been in the community a long time and knows everyone and has many of his former youth who attend classes there. It is a basic principle of mine that students do the best job of reaching other students. So, get some students in on this from the very start.
3. Ask if the school will give you any kind of religious preference list.
This may seem way out of the possible to some of you. However, the main campus of which this is a branch does so. Many of these totally commuter situations see the need of working with anyone that is helping their students connect. And, they just gave him the space to use. In the past, ACT information that each school received had a student's religious preference information on it. I would ask them if it still does and can they access it for him..
4. Set up an Information Table at a central point.
Give away information AND have a give-away for which they can sign up by filling out an Info Card or a Religious Preference Card. The give-away can be as simple as a gift card to Subway or more elaborate, if you have it to give.
5. Have a fun everyone invited type of event....could be some sort of welcome party or a free food event.
Make it very informal with no heavy message or program. It might be the "Grand Opening" of the new space that he is filling with furniture, etc. The point is awareness....again, I would do something to get names and contact info. Lunch time is often the best time on a totally commuter campus situation.
Monday, January 16, 2017
5 Pieces in Developing Collegiate Ministry Student Leaders
None of us would ever say we have had too many good student leaders. Here are five pieces to developing, maintaining and utilizing strong student leaders for our college ministry and for their service for the years to come.
1. Intentionality......We must continually be looking for students with potential to lead and be very intentional in developing and building them up. It does not happen by accident....at least on a regular basis.
2. Training......Two common reasons leaders fail are:
-They don't know what they are supposed to do.
-They have no idea how to do it.
We must continually help them know what to do (That must be communicated in enlisting them for service.) and what are some ways to do it.
3. Giving Responsibility.....There is a fine line between a leader feeling they have been deserted and too much input from someone else. We must give responsibility, let them serve in it....but....not feel alone or left to hang out to dry.
4. Healthy Evaluation......Part of the learning and growing process as a leader is positive evaluation. There is a difference in criticism and healthy and helpful evaluation. Helpful evaluation looks at why things work, why they didn't succeed or go as well as hoped. Healthy, positive evaluation always gives credit for effort.
5. Affirmation.....Many do not serve because they feel they have no ability. Genuine affirmation helps them know God can use them...even them. Affirmation is also given throughout the process in appreciation for their service. Never forget student leaders are volunteers who have other responsibilities and calls on their time.
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
1. Intentionality......We must continually be looking for students with potential to lead and be very intentional in developing and building them up. It does not happen by accident....at least on a regular basis.
2. Training......Two common reasons leaders fail are:
-They don't know what they are supposed to do.
-They have no idea how to do it.
We must continually help them know what to do (That must be communicated in enlisting them for service.) and what are some ways to do it.
3. Giving Responsibility.....There is a fine line between a leader feeling they have been deserted and too much input from someone else. We must give responsibility, let them serve in it....but....not feel alone or left to hang out to dry.
4. Healthy Evaluation......Part of the learning and growing process as a leader is positive evaluation. There is a difference in criticism and healthy and helpful evaluation. Helpful evaluation looks at why things work, why they didn't succeed or go as well as hoped. Healthy, positive evaluation always gives credit for effort.
5. Affirmation.....Many do not serve because they feel they have no ability. Genuine affirmation helps them know God can use them...even them. Affirmation is also given throughout the process in appreciation for their service. Never forget student leaders are volunteers who have other responsibilities and calls on their time.
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
Friday, January 13, 2017
3 Things to Do the First 2 Weeks of Spring Semester
As one who hates winter and the complications that go with it for college ministry, it is encouraging to say clearly, "Spring Semester". Because it is the second semester of this school year, it is easy to just pick up where we left off last semester and not be intentional about some things that particularly need to happen at the beginning of "Winter Quarter" or "SPRING Semester (see that sounds way better!).
Let me suggest three things that College Ministers both campus and church based should be intentional about right now:
1. MISSING REGULARS.....At your first few events it is easy to enjoy visiting with students about their holidays and hearing from those who did Mission Trips over the holidays or about that great Ski Retreat. And, we even are usually fortunate to see some new faces that come as result of invitations or transfers looking for Christian connections. But, one thing it is easy to not do is....notice what regulars from last semester have not appeared. It has been my experience that often there are students who were connected last semester will disappear in January and no one realizes it. Or, when it is realized, those that have not been around feel like no one cares that they weren't there....so. Often, it is a change in work schedule or a change in when their classes are that may conflict with some of your events. Are they missed? Did anyone care? If your ministry is one of those that does Sign-In Lists, look back over last semester's....see any names that have not appeared this term? Luke 15 is all about looking for Lost Sheep. Take some time to be intentional about seeing if there are lost sheep. It is also a good topic of discussion at one of your first Leadership Team meetings.
2. POTENTIAL FUTURE LEADERS......Many ministries start their new Leadership Teams at Spring Break to allow them a training period prior to the key time of the fall. Now is a great time to look around and begin to think about who some of those people could be. One of the great "Christmas Miracles" that I have observed through the years is that in January I would begin to notice a new level of maturity beginning to develop in some students...both freshmen and upperclassmen. Some students I thought were lucky to be able to find their dorm or the book of Genesis in their Bible seem to have turned a corner in faith or just personal maturity. Should you maybe map out a list of a few of these and plan to spend some extra time with them pouring into them? You don't have to say, "You are on my list of potential leaders.".....or maybe that might be a good idea. It could be a personal challenge that would help them begin to rise to the opportunities ahead or just be open to God's leadership in their life.
3. HAVE A LIKE MINDED GET TOGETHER.....This is a great time to get with those folks that share the passion of the high calling of College Ministry. If you are a campus based College Minister, invite those who do college ministry at local churches for coffee or pizza together for encouragement, sharing of information, etc. Or, invite the other College Ministers on campus (DIFFERENT Denominations and styles of college ministry types even). Or, if you are a church based, get with other church College Ministers in town for just a time to visit, pray, and maybe say something important. One of the killers of College Ministers is feeling alone and that no one else cares. Sometimes, that is our own fault. Call that one that you even feel like is trying to stab you in the back (Yes; we sometimes feel that way...don't we.) or steal your students. It is at those times that I go back and read Mark 9:38-40, "Teacher said John, we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us. Do not stop him, Jesus said. No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us." Those verses pierced my heart at one point as I read them and realized I needed to hear them. It did not make me agree with everything another college ministry was doing, but it changed my heart some. Sometimes, getting together will help that go the next step......and sometimes, it will not. But, YOU have done the right thing. Get together!
Monday, January 9, 2017
The Similarities Between College Football Coaches and College Ministers
Have you ever thought about how much similarity there is between the jobs/tasks of high profile Division I football coaches and College Ministers? It really is pretty surprising. Here are a few.
-The result of what we do everyday is determined by the actions and responses of 18-22 year olds.
-We must continually be recruiting.
-We are expected to speak at lots of events...some to raise support and enthusiasm...some to express thanks and some to help recruit.
-We are usually judged by the numbers...coaches by how many wins...college ministers by attendance at their large group meeting or at Sunday worship (again determined by the response of 18-22 year olds).
-When things go well, we rightly give credit to the students and when things go poorly, we take the blame.
-We work crazy hours.....early mornings....late nights.
-We must continually recognize potential and develop it.
-We do road trips with 18-22 year olds.
-We continually are looking at someone's new way of doing it, new approach and how we might better our own game plan.
-We sometimes question our own decisions and wonder how these decisions affected everybody involved.
-Division I Football Coaches make from $7 Million to $350,000 (the lowest D-I coach). The College Minister is paid $40,000 to near $100,000 according to most situations with which I am familiar. And, I only know 2 or 3 that fall in the $75,000-$100,000 range. Most fall in the much lower bracket. Church College Ministers usually tend to make higher salaries and have better benefits that campus based ones. Many campus based ones must raise their own salary from friends, alums and other supporters.
So, what's the point of this ridiculous comparison? First of all, it just has always struck me how many similarities there are between what successful coaches do and what successful college ministers do. There is much to learn from the other. My MAIN POINT is College Ministers are not paid enough for what is expected of them. Rightly so, most ministry salaries are not made public......BUT, is that rightly so? I am of the opinion if many knew what their College Minister was making, they would work at getting it raised. We know Head Coaches salaries...they are published in the paper and you can find lists on line. Often, College Ministers working side by side in many instances and doing the same thing are making disproportionately different salaries.
My boss admonished me once for participating in a practice where a group of us would write our salaries on a piece of paper and throw it in the hat with no name on it. Then, we would share with everyone what the range was. It is was very informative. My boss' point. which was correct, was that some were putting a figure representing total package and others were putting just a salary figure. So, we were not comparing apples to apples. He was correct in that.
Yet, I must admit to being non-spiritual enough to believe that College Ministers deserve to be paid more. Over-all, the vast majority are way underpaid for what is expected of them. It is also to our advantage to know what the salaries are. Those who care about college ministry need to know what they are so we can advocate for better salaries that are somewhat consistent with the expectations we have of that person.
I don't know anyone that is in college ministry for the money. But, I know lots of College Ministers that are having to pay for braces, buy groceries, drive a decent vehicle, and even send kids to college. As we lament the loss of the twenty something generation to faith and the church, perhaps we need to be talking about how to get those salaries up, so experienced veterans who know what to do and how to do it can stay for the long term. That's just my thought. And, I have never known a College Minister who got fired and walked away with $2 million or $3 million for being fired.
"....the worker deserves his wages." Luke 10:7b "For the scripture says, do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain, and the worker deserves his wages." I Timothy 5:18
-The result of what we do everyday is determined by the actions and responses of 18-22 year olds.
-We must continually be recruiting.
-We are expected to speak at lots of events...some to raise support and enthusiasm...some to express thanks and some to help recruit.
-We are usually judged by the numbers...coaches by how many wins...college ministers by attendance at their large group meeting or at Sunday worship (again determined by the response of 18-22 year olds).
-When things go well, we rightly give credit to the students and when things go poorly, we take the blame.
-We work crazy hours.....early mornings....late nights.
-We must continually recognize potential and develop it.
-We do road trips with 18-22 year olds.
-We continually are looking at someone's new way of doing it, new approach and how we might better our own game plan.
-We sometimes question our own decisions and wonder how these decisions affected everybody involved.
-Division I Football Coaches make from $7 Million to $350,000 (the lowest D-I coach). The College Minister is paid $40,000 to near $100,000 according to most situations with which I am familiar. And, I only know 2 or 3 that fall in the $75,000-$100,000 range. Most fall in the much lower bracket. Church College Ministers usually tend to make higher salaries and have better benefits that campus based ones. Many campus based ones must raise their own salary from friends, alums and other supporters.
So, what's the point of this ridiculous comparison? First of all, it just has always struck me how many similarities there are between what successful coaches do and what successful college ministers do. There is much to learn from the other. My MAIN POINT is College Ministers are not paid enough for what is expected of them. Rightly so, most ministry salaries are not made public......BUT, is that rightly so? I am of the opinion if many knew what their College Minister was making, they would work at getting it raised. We know Head Coaches salaries...they are published in the paper and you can find lists on line. Often, College Ministers working side by side in many instances and doing the same thing are making disproportionately different salaries.
My boss admonished me once for participating in a practice where a group of us would write our salaries on a piece of paper and throw it in the hat with no name on it. Then, we would share with everyone what the range was. It is was very informative. My boss' point. which was correct, was that some were putting a figure representing total package and others were putting just a salary figure. So, we were not comparing apples to apples. He was correct in that.
Yet, I must admit to being non-spiritual enough to believe that College Ministers deserve to be paid more. Over-all, the vast majority are way underpaid for what is expected of them. It is also to our advantage to know what the salaries are. Those who care about college ministry need to know what they are so we can advocate for better salaries that are somewhat consistent with the expectations we have of that person.
I don't know anyone that is in college ministry for the money. But, I know lots of College Ministers that are having to pay for braces, buy groceries, drive a decent vehicle, and even send kids to college. As we lament the loss of the twenty something generation to faith and the church, perhaps we need to be talking about how to get those salaries up, so experienced veterans who know what to do and how to do it can stay for the long term. That's just my thought. And, I have never known a College Minister who got fired and walked away with $2 million or $3 million for being fired.
"....the worker deserves his wages." Luke 10:7b "For the scripture says, do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain, and the worker deserves his wages." I Timothy 5:18
Friday, January 6, 2017
Bi-Vocational College Minister Position
Bi-Vocational College Minister needed for a growing college ministry in South Dakota. Five year old church plant seeking to reach a campus of 5K students in our city. Currently averaging 25-35 students weekly but with great potential for growth. Must be outgoing and self-motivated. Contact doug@spearfishconnection.com or 605.559.1020 for information or to submit a resume.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Leaders Make Decisions
Leaders make decisions. Good leaders make hard decisions. Some decisions are difficult, particularly in ministry. There are different people who have different thoughts, ideas and real needs. It is not unusual to see different ministry situations where a key decision is not made due to the different and valid viewpoints.
This is where leaders distinguish themselves from run of the mill leaders to good or even great leaders. A good or great leader will do all possible to get all the facts, feelings and options on the table.....then make a decision and move forward. Now, here is the hard part.....not everyone will agree or be happy. That does not necessarily mean the leader has made the wrong decision.
I have learned these lessons the hard way. In my heart I am basically a people pleaser; I want everyone to like me. But, making the tough decisions brings criticism and unhappiness on the part of some. We cannot be surprised by it. I usually am. Why is it when we read the New Testament we see disagreement among the Believers in Acts? They were people led by God still figuring out this faith by grace thing. So, if these people and some who had SEEN Jesus in person still disagreed some on how to do it, then of course we will disagree sometimes.
I always ask the Bible class I teach each Sunday what their "take-aways" for the scripture that day are. So, here are my take-aways.
1. Tough decisions will not make EVERYONE happy. It just is not possible.
2. Do all you can to listen to all parties before making the tough decision. Some people....not all....are ok if they feel they have been heard even when a decision does not go their way. Plus, we need all the information possible.
3. I hate this take-away the most: Some....a few....will sometimes be ugly after a tough decision has been
made that did not go their way. It is just true.
4. Do all within your power to NOT be ugly in return. Leave it alone and get away from it. When it turns ugly, facts often do not matter.
5. Continue to move forward. Remember; for some strange reason we tend to hear negative voices in our head way more than positive voices. In fact, most of the voices in our heads tend to be negative.....at least in difficult situations. Don't let the negative voices paralyze you.
Many years ago when I first started in College Ministry and I was dealing with the tough issues, I thought, "I will be glad when we get past this and I can do my thing.". It finally dawned on me, if there were never tough issues, they would not need me. That was really my main job.....leading through tough issues.
"They (Barnabas and Paul) had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company....." Acts 15:39
This is where leaders distinguish themselves from run of the mill leaders to good or even great leaders. A good or great leader will do all possible to get all the facts, feelings and options on the table.....then make a decision and move forward. Now, here is the hard part.....not everyone will agree or be happy. That does not necessarily mean the leader has made the wrong decision.
I have learned these lessons the hard way. In my heart I am basically a people pleaser; I want everyone to like me. But, making the tough decisions brings criticism and unhappiness on the part of some. We cannot be surprised by it. I usually am. Why is it when we read the New Testament we see disagreement among the Believers in Acts? They were people led by God still figuring out this faith by grace thing. So, if these people and some who had SEEN Jesus in person still disagreed some on how to do it, then of course we will disagree sometimes.
I always ask the Bible class I teach each Sunday what their "take-aways" for the scripture that day are. So, here are my take-aways.
1. Tough decisions will not make EVERYONE happy. It just is not possible.
2. Do all you can to listen to all parties before making the tough decision. Some people....not all....are ok if they feel they have been heard even when a decision does not go their way. Plus, we need all the information possible.
3. I hate this take-away the most: Some....a few....will sometimes be ugly after a tough decision has been
made that did not go their way. It is just true.
4. Do all within your power to NOT be ugly in return. Leave it alone and get away from it. When it turns ugly, facts often do not matter.
5. Continue to move forward. Remember; for some strange reason we tend to hear negative voices in our head way more than positive voices. In fact, most of the voices in our heads tend to be negative.....at least in difficult situations. Don't let the negative voices paralyze you.
Many years ago when I first started in College Ministry and I was dealing with the tough issues, I thought, "I will be glad when we get past this and I can do my thing.". It finally dawned on me, if there were never tough issues, they would not need me. That was really my main job.....leading through tough issues.
"They (Barnabas and Paul) had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company....." Acts 15:39
Monday, January 2, 2017
What Causes Doubts About Faith?
This past summer I heard Dr. Robert Stewart of New Orleans Seminary speak briefly about addressing doubts in twenty-somethings. Dr. Stewart is the most popular seminar leader at a Collegiate Conference I attend every year. He always speaks to standing room only crowds. He is at least twice as smart as I am. So, I am always fascinated to hear what he has to say. He spoke about a young man with whom he had dealt who was wrestling with some of those really hard questions....ones most of us struggle with, if we are honest.
As I thought about what Bob had to say, I realized it is not the deep, deep questions that trouble me. Oh, I don't have good answers for all of them. But for me, the doubt issues arise mostly out of seeing how people who say they love Jesus act some times and the ugly things they say. It reminded me that many of the college and university students with which we deal have gone away from faith....or at least away from church not because of the deep questions, but just more everyday kinds of issues.
Here are some reasons I see college students express and react to doubts about faith and church.
1. A moral foul-up. They did something contrary to all they have been and believed prior to this. This is particularly common with freshmen in a new setting away at college. They are trying to make friends and find a place to just fit.
2. Other students who are good, sharp, smart people who believe differently than they do. Wait a minute, all the good sharp people they knew at home were Christians.
3. A big change in life. I am convinced that it is just change that causes many students to go away from their faith. It is more drift than it is cataclysmic shift.
4. A bad happening. It is not unusual at all these days for parents to divorce once students have come to college. They hung together for the sake of the kids and now feel it is ok for them to divorce or separate without damage to their children....but it does do damage. It shakes all the student has held dear.
5. A key religious figure let them down. I have had lots of conversations that started with, "I can't believe my Youth Minister......".
6. A personal belief is not true. Sometimes, as faith matures, students realize something they have believed doesn't hold water. They have to be helped to realize that something we believe being wrong doesn't wipe out healthy, genuine faith. Not everything people believes comes from the Bible. After all, we all know the Bible says, "Cleanliness is next to godliness.".
As we deal with students who express doubts about the faith they previously held dear, they may raise the big questions about faith. However, often its really not the tough questions that rocked their faith. It is what has happened in their personal world.
Part of our important job in college ministry is to help students face and deal with doubts. Part of how we must do that is to understand and help them understand what the real base issue is.
Also, we must help students to understand that if we are honest, we all doubt sometimes. Doubt and questions are not contrary to faith. And, we must help them understand that doubt when faced and dealt with can strengthen our faith and be a filter to unhealthy or untrue beliefs.
" Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Mark 9:24 (NIV)
As I thought about what Bob had to say, I realized it is not the deep, deep questions that trouble me. Oh, I don't have good answers for all of them. But for me, the doubt issues arise mostly out of seeing how people who say they love Jesus act some times and the ugly things they say. It reminded me that many of the college and university students with which we deal have gone away from faith....or at least away from church not because of the deep questions, but just more everyday kinds of issues.
Here are some reasons I see college students express and react to doubts about faith and church.
1. A moral foul-up. They did something contrary to all they have been and believed prior to this. This is particularly common with freshmen in a new setting away at college. They are trying to make friends and find a place to just fit.
2. Other students who are good, sharp, smart people who believe differently than they do. Wait a minute, all the good sharp people they knew at home were Christians.
3. A big change in life. I am convinced that it is just change that causes many students to go away from their faith. It is more drift than it is cataclysmic shift.
4. A bad happening. It is not unusual at all these days for parents to divorce once students have come to college. They hung together for the sake of the kids and now feel it is ok for them to divorce or separate without damage to their children....but it does do damage. It shakes all the student has held dear.
5. A key religious figure let them down. I have had lots of conversations that started with, "I can't believe my Youth Minister......".
6. A personal belief is not true. Sometimes, as faith matures, students realize something they have believed doesn't hold water. They have to be helped to realize that something we believe being wrong doesn't wipe out healthy, genuine faith. Not everything people believes comes from the Bible. After all, we all know the Bible says, "Cleanliness is next to godliness.".
As we deal with students who express doubts about the faith they previously held dear, they may raise the big questions about faith. However, often its really not the tough questions that rocked their faith. It is what has happened in their personal world.
Part of our important job in college ministry is to help students face and deal with doubts. Part of how we must do that is to understand and help them understand what the real base issue is.
Also, we must help students to understand that if we are honest, we all doubt sometimes. Doubt and questions are not contrary to faith. And, we must help them understand that doubt when faced and dealt with can strengthen our faith and be a filter to unhealthy or untrue beliefs.
" Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Mark 9:24 (NIV)
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